The Pursuit of Xander Harris
by LovelyLaynee
Summary: A year after the events of "Chosen", Xander is finally getting over Anya's death, and Dawn, still not over her crush, takes this as her golden opportunity to finally put the moves on him and make him hers. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own BtVS.

**Chapter 1**

"Dawn, are you in there? Come out please, I don't have much time." Xander knocked on Dawn's door a second time. Finally, it opened, and there stood Dawn in her pajamas.

"Sorry," she said. "I had my music turned up loud, so I must not have heard you the first time. Good thing you knocked a little louder the second time. What's up? You look like you have somewhere important to be."

"I do," Xander began. "I have a date tonight, and I just called the girl and told her I'll be picking her up at 8."

"A date? Really?" Dawn's look of surprise quickly changed to one of disappointment as she registered Xander's words.

"Yeah, we're just having the traditional kind of first date. You know, dinner and a movie. No big deal. It was her idea. She's an old fashioned kind of girl she says."

"F-first date? A-as in there'll, uh, probably be MORE dates?" stammered Dawn.

"Well, yeah, depending on how this first one goes. What's wrong, Dawnie?" Xander couldn't help raising an eyebrow at Dawn's curiousness.

"N-nothing, I just... I-I thought tonight you and I were going to watch a movie. After all, we've been watching one together every night since Buffy and the others left for Cleveland, now haven't we?" Dawn was no longer looking at Xander; she was looking at the floor and cursing at herself in her head for making it so bluntly obvious that she found something wrong with him going on a date. Why wasn't she better at hiding her emotions? Losing an eye hadn't changed Xander's ability to notice things that the others never had time to notice with their busy schedule, especially not Buffy after the arrival of the Potentials.

"Hey, we can still watch a movie. I'll probably be back around 11 or 11:30 or so. You'll probably still be up then, right?" _There has to be more to it_, thought Xander in his head as he tried to comfort Dawn and reassure her of their new-found closeness.

"Probably, but Xander, what's your hurry to get back in the dating scene? Why so soon after Anya's death?" A desperate Dawn was now using anything she could to try and get him to cancel his date, the most pitiful of excuses.

_Aha_, thought Xander to himself as he moved toward Dawn and put his hand on her shoulder, looking into her eyes with the upmost seriousness. "Anya died almost a year ago. I can't just stay single for the rest of my life. I can't afford to. I'm only 23. I have to move on, as do you, Dawnie."

"H-how'd you meet this girl anyway? What's her name?" Dawn questioned, feeling the warmth of his hand on her shoulder, wanting to feel it everywhere.

If he honestly thought she was finally over the crush she'd had on him since she was 14, he was nuts. Sure, at one point she'd had a crush on Spike too, but _that_ crush she quickly got over after she found out about his attempted rape on Buffy, and even after he got himself re-ensouled, her crush didn't return, but they were at least back on friendly terms. She'd lost a ton of respect for Spike, and to gain back that respect it ultimately took him sacrificing himself to save the world in the battle against the First Evil's Turok-han army. Xander, on the other hand, had never betrayed her trust, and she was sure he never would, as was Buffy obviously if she chose to have _him_ watch over her during her stay in Cleveland with Willow, Kennedy, Andrew, and Giles.

"Her name's Serena. Work was pretty stressful yesterday, and so I met her at the bar I went to afterwards. That's why I was a little late getting home," Xander explained, suddenly smiling as he added, "Let's pray she's not another demon, huh? You know how I'm practically a magnet for attracting demon girls with evil intentions."

Dawn tried to smile back at Xander, but only managed to form half a smile before nodding and joking, "Yeah, don't worry, I'll say a prayer for ya that she's just a normal, human girl with evil intentions."

Laughing, Xander said, "Thanks so much, Dawn. I appreciate it. It's nice to know that even with Buffy gone, I still have someone to text if I'm tied to a torture wheel and about to be sacrificed, huh?" With that, he pulled her in for a hug that would ultimately last a few seconds longer than it should have. He happened to look down at his watch and saw that it was going on 7:50. It was then that he let go of Dawn and, in panic, said, "Shit, I have 10 minutes to get to her house! If she _is_ a demon, what better way to piss her off than by being late? Please tell me we're done with this questionnaire. I can answer later any other questions you may have."

"A-alright, I understand, Xander. Sorry if I make you late. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to text me," Dawn said, her heart dropping, or at least feeling like it was.

"Alright, you too," Xander said, turning to leave her room, stopping at the opened door to look at Dawn one more time and adding, "Oh, by the way, Buffy called to check up on you while I was getting ready half an hour ago. If you want to call her back and talk to her yourself, you can."

"Alright, I will. Thanks. Bye." Dawn sat on her bed and proceeded to put her ear buds back in her ears.

"Bye." With that, he closed the door to her room behind him, and Dawn waited to turn her MP3 player back on until she no longer could hear his footsteps. It was then that she also no longer held back the tears.

***12:30 a.m. – 4 ½ hours later***

"Dawn, I'm home!" Xander yelled as he took off his jacket in the living room and tossed it on the couch along with his keys, which he had taken out of one of the pockets.

"I'm in the kitchen!" Dawn yelled back as she left her unfinished sandwich on the counter to get a jar of mayo out of the fridge.

Xander entered the kitchen and pulled out one of the table chairs. "Ah, here you are! How was your night?" He sat down and proceeded to take off his shoes.

"Boring," Dawn murmured, not bothering to look back at him as she was busy spreading on the mayo. "How was yours?"

She heard him sigh before he began. "Would you believe The Notebook was the movie she wanted to see?"

"Aww, poor Xander was subjected to a chick flick, was he?" Dawn joked, putting the two slices of bread together and the ham, cheese, and mayo back in the fridge.

"Yeah, I so would've rather been stabbed in the gut with a knife or been beheaded or even have lost my other eye," Xander joked back as Dawn pulled out the chair closest to his.

"Wow, Xander," she commented, shaking her head and smiling at his absurdness. "So I take it she's not a demon if that was the worst that happened was that you agreed to see a movie you didn't really want to see? I mean, you didn't text me, and I remember telling you to text me if it turned out she was."

"No, she's not a demon, but Dawn, you have to let me finish here," Xander said as Dawn took her first bite.

"Sorry," she said, her mouth full. "Go on please."

"Would you believe at the restaurant we went to she wanted to order the most expensive meal on the menu? I mean, talk about high maintenance! I don't mind sitting through a chick flick nearly as much as I do paying 20 bucks for a crab meal that's probably gross. Gross to look at even. Anyway, I said if she wanted that she'd have to pay for it because I'm not burning up my wallet like that on a first date, and she got all bent out of shape and ran in the bathroom with her purse and stayed in there for a good 15 to 20 minutes. I tried calling her on her cell, but she wouldn't answer, so finally I had to send the waitress in there after her, and when she came back to the table she said if I don't think she's worth spending 20 bucks on when I_ just_ met her last night that our date was over and I could take her home, so needless to say, after I paid for our drinks, that's exactly what I did and there was no end-of-date kiss." Xander then stopped and watched her bite into her sandwich again, as if contemplating on making himself one, and it was in that exact moment that they both heard his stomach growl, and as she chewed, Dawn ushered him with her hand to state the obvious. "I guess it's also needless to say that since we didn't eat, I'm starving, but I think maybe it's best to just go on to bed after a date that disastrous."

"Hey, wait a minute, if you didn't eat, then why are you so late getting home? You should've gotten home way before 12:30 if all you did was see a movie," Dawn inquired, panicking inside that this meant that he was no longer up for _them_ seeing a movie, considering it'd be the first time they hadn't since the others left them in Cincinnati, Ohio for Cleveland almost a year ago.

"I'm sorry, Dawn. I stopped at the bar again after I dropped her back off at her house because that's how frustrated I was. I was more frustrated than hungry, but now, as I watch you eat that sandwich there, I'm thinking maybe I should have stopped and picked up some Wendy's or something on the way home, but hey, at least she wasn't a demon and I'm still alive. Guess I was and am fortunate there. Anyway, have you already picked out a movie?"

"No. I decided to wait because I wasn't sure if how your date turned out would determine what genre you'd be in the mood for, or if you'd even still be in the mood for watching one with me, but are you sure you don't want me to make you a sandwich like mine first before we go and pick out one?"

"Well, I do have to work tomorrow, so as long as it's not too long of one we can still watch one. And no, I don't expect you to do that for me, I'll make myself one and eat it during the movie."

"Xander, I really don't mind making you one… I was thinking I'd do that while you picked out a movie… After all, you're the one who just got home from a bad date… You had to watch one you really didn't want to…"

"Hey now, who's supposed to be taking care of who around here? Aren't I supposed to be taking care of you and not you of me? That was the plan. Buffy's plan. I'm a grown man, Dawn. You're the teenager. You and I both know good and well that Buffy didn't leave us here together for you to make me sandwiches, for _you_ to tend to _my_ needs. What's most important here, to me and to Buffy, is that _your_ needs are tended to." Xander stopped and sighed upon noticing that Dawn had put her sandwich down since his rant began and had not picked it up again since, indicating that she was taking his words in a way he hadn't meant for her to. He took both of her hands in his, gently rubbing her knuckles with his thumbs.

"I'm sorry, Dawn. I don't mean to be a jerk here or anything, and I want you to know I do appreciate you worrying about me and wanting to tend to my needs. It's just I know Buffy wouldn't be too happy if she somehow got the impression that I was making you my slave over here when I had promised her that I would take on the guardian role while she's gone and that I would do everything in my power to make sure your last two remaining teenage years are worry-free because she and I both know that's what you deserve. You deserve to have a normal teenage life here that you didn't have-that neither I nor Buffy had-in Sunnydale. Dawn, you're going to be 18 in 4 months. Instead of hanging out with an old geezer like me, you really should be hanging out with some friends your own age." Xander sighed again. He tightened his hold on her hands.

_Could this night get any worse?_ Dawn thought in her head, finding herself once again trying to hold back tears. _On second thought, I should know better than to ask that after living 3 years in a place like Sunnydale. If it wasn't for the way his hands feel on mine, I'd get up and leave the room this very minute._

"Look, Xander, it's been almost a year and you still have yet to go back on your promise," Dawn began. "You've really done a great job with the whole taking care of me, watching over me, yadi yada. You really have. It's obvious to me that you really care about me, and it's obvious to Buffy too. She wouldn't have picked you if she thought you wouldn't give me the attention she thinks I deserve. You're blowing this whole making you a sandwich thing way out of proportion here, and I'm guessing it's because you're still upset over your date, so what you need to do is relax, go upstairs, and pick out a damn movie." It was then that she finally withdrew her hands from inside his and folded her arms.

"I'm sorry, Dawn… Maybe you're right, maybe I am… Upset, that is... Maybe I do need to relax… It's just… God, it's hard to explain..." Xander, getting frustrated with himself, buried his face in his hands.

"Well, we can talk about it over dinner, can't we? _Your_ dinner, that is. Will you please get over your pride and let me make you one?" Dawn asked, half-joking and half-serious.

"What about our movie?" Xander asked, looking up from his hands.

Dawn smiled and lightly touched the back of the hand closest to her with hers, forgetting about the jerk he was being just a minute ago. "Right now it's more important that we unleash your inner demons."

"Who knew my mouth could serve as a Hellmouth, huh?" Xander couldn't help laughing at his own corny joke. Getting up from the table, he then added, "Alright, I see you put mayo on yours, but I want mustard on mine. Meet me in the living room when you're done?"

"You've got it, Xan man."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

At first they didn't seem to be getting anywhere with the heart-to-heart Dawn had proposed that they have, Xander too busy eating his sandwich and Dawn too busy eating the rest of hers. For the longest time, the only sound in the room was of the hungry pair chewing, both of them seemingly wanting to wait until they were finished with their sandwich to begin their exchange of words. 5 minutes had passed when Xander finally put down his now empty plate and said, "This girl, she may not have been a demon, and that's an improvement there, but she was nuts. Tonight was the first date I've gone on with anyone since Anya died, and maybe how it turned out is some sort of sign that I should give up on dating because, let's face it, maybe with this eye patch it's going to be even harder finding the right girl than it was in Sunnydale. Most girls aren't going to want a one-eyed man, a cripple. Sure, Serena didn't seem to mind the eye patch, but what about the more shallow ones? They'll mind, won't they? They'll see that I'm half-blind and they'll automatically write me off as useless, not worth giving a chance to, thinking I can't take care of myself when I can, and thinking that means I can't take care of them either when I can do that too. It isn't fair, Dawn, that I seem to be even worse off than I was in Sunnydale. At least I had Buffy and the rest of the gang then to make me feel useful, to make me feel like I could make a difference, but now that they're gone, who do I have?"

"Me," Dawn answered softly, almost in a whisper. She gulped, instantly regretting answering his question and cutting him off when it was probably a rhetorical one and he hadn't actually meant for her to. "You have me. Aren't I enough? If I'm not, I wish I was."

"No, you're right, you are. I'm sorry, I didn't mean… God, I'm so messed up right now I'm not making any sense," Xander said, shaking his head at himself for his poor choice of words. "You're more than enough, Dawn. You really are. I'm glad I was the one she picked to accompany you here and not Andrew seeing as he can be idiotic and annoying sometimes. You know, sometimes you're even more caring to me and appreciative of me than Buffy is, or uh, was."

"Well, thanks," Dawn began. "I'm glad it was you she picked too. Who would've thought we'd ever be this close?"

Xander said nothing, but smiled at the 17-year-old for the first time since she brought out his sandwich and the rest of hers. It was then that he leaned over, pulled her long brown hair back behind her ear on one side, and lightly kissed her forehead, a spontaneous and unexpected act which made Dawn's heart skip a beat even though he'd kissed her forehead once before. It made her heart skip a beat then too. It was last year when he picked up on her disappointment over not being a Potential when, after Willow's locator spell, the gang had originally thought she was. That kiss had really lifted her spirits. It had given her hope. Hope that he was finally beginning to see her as a woman and not as Buffy's little sister, especially after he said that she didn't need powers to be special; that she was "extraordinary" just the way she was. She and Xander could always empathize with and relate to each other in a way that they couldn't with the others simply because they were the only "normal" ones, the only "powerless" ones. Hell, Xander had known longer than she had just how hard it could be living in Buffy's, even sometimes Willow's, shadows. Neither one ever could help wondering when it'd be their turn to shine.

"So Serena liked the eye patch, did she?" Dawn inquired, changing the subject to get her mind off his kiss.

"Well, it's what got her talking to me," Xander explained, back in his own personal bubble and out of Dawn's. "She came up to me and asked if I really had some kind of disfigurement or if I was just wearing it to look dangerous or mysterious. I, of course, didn't tell her it was done by some evil preacher dude. I told her it happened in an accident involving a paint ball gun and a bottle of Smirnoff Vodka." He shrugged, smiling even wider than before.

"Wow," Dawn began, laughing and shaking her head at how far-fetched his story had been, yet obviously still believable. Probably more believable than the truth, but hey, when is the truth _ever_ believable? "Don't worry, Xander, you're only 23. You still have plenty of time to find the right girl who will knock you off your feet and accept you as you are, eye patch and all."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

"But what if… What if Anya was the right girl? And I blew it by calling off our wedding… And now she's gone… Not just gone as in left gone, but also gone as in dead gone... If that makes sense…"

"It does. Look, maybe she was, but I know she couldn't have been the only one. There has to be other girls. There has to be more fish in the sea. Okay, so it's your fault you two broke up, but it's not your fault she died, and even if you had went through with marrying her she still would have. Maybe she and Spike were destined to die, but at least it was for a good cause." Dawn gently rubbed his arm, wanting her words to comfort him, but knowing that they weren't, as she could tell from the look in his eye.

"No, she wouldn't have. You know why? Because she would've been with me and not with Andrew, who was pretty much useless. Didn't he say she died saving his life? She wouldn't have died if she hadn't of had to save his life, if he'd known the sharp end of a sword and been able to hold his own in the battle," Xander argued, his voice going up by at least one volume.

"Come on, you know Buffy would've still wanted _me_ with you and her with Andrew, and you know Andrew did slay some of the vampires and didn't just stand there, no matter how scared he was. He fought just as hard as the rest of us. Those of us who don't have Slayer powers, that is." Dawn asserted, pulling his arm toward her to hold his hand, an act to which Xander showed no resistance.

"Anya only agreed to go with Andrew to give me some space, which is the same reason why she wasn't there at the hospital when I lost my eye."

"Maybe so, but Xander, if you think he was useless, would you really have preferred that I went with Andrew? It couldn't have been you, me, and Anya. That would've left Andrew alone. Buffy didn't want any of us fighting alone. Face it, Xander, Anya's death was unavoidable."

"You don't understand, Dawn. No, I wouldn't have preferred that, but what if she thought that if she died she'd have nothing to lose? I mean, since she didn't have me anymore... A few weeks before the battle, before I lost my eye even, she and I admitted that we still loved each other, but neither of us knew if that meant anything for us anymore. As we talked, it became more and more obvious that neither of us ever really wanted it to be over between us. That's why I think that she and I might've eventually gotten back together if she hadn't of died in that battle. The day we admitted we still loved each other would've been our first wedding anniversary if I hadn't of called off our wedding... God, Dawn, why am I such a screw up?"

At this point Dawn was at a loss for words, so she simply lifted his hand from her leg, still inside hers, and held it up to her chest where her heart was. Silence again filled the room, talking having not solved either one's problems, instead making them feel even worse than before.

***4:30 a.m. – In bed***

Dawn looked over at her alarm clock and sighed, muttering to herself, "It's a good thing it's the weekend and I don't have school in a few hours." She then turned over on her other side, moving her hand up under her pillow, knowing it wouldn't help her get to sleep if she kept worrying about what time it was. Xander had gone on to bed too. In addition to worrying about what time it was, she was worried about Xander, as their talk about his problems hadn't exactly progressed to solutions. She wondered if he was already asleep, or if he was struggling like she was.

Her mind wandered back to simpler times: 3 years ago, before Buffy died, when her crush on Xander was just that, a crush and nothing more. Although obviously still unrequited, since then it had developed into love. Yes, love. And it definitely wasn't just puppy love. There was no doubt in her mind that it was romantic love. Now if Xander loved her, it was probably just a friendship-based love or familial love. Either way, platonic love. His kisses on her forehead were no indication that he wanted her to be his girlfriend, just as him holding her hand was no indication that he thought she could ever compete with Anya, that she could ever measure up to what Anya was. She was foolish enough to think it indicated that the first time he kissed her forehead, the first time he held her hand, but now as she got older she knew better, as the kisses and hand-holding had yet to lead to anything else.

Maybe it was true. Maybe she _couldn't_ replace Anya. Not in his heart, in his mind, in his bed, or for that matter, anywhere else. She wasn't sure if it'd even be right to. Anya was one to get jealous easily, and the last thing she wanted was a haunting from Anya's ghost, warning her to back off Xander, and there was no doubt in her mind that ghosts exist if demons and vampires do. Then again, would Anya really be selfish enough not to let him be with anyone else? Would she really want and expect him to spend the rest of his life alone and miserable? On second thought, she did used to be a vengeance demon, so maybe so…

No, she was human when she died. That's why she died. If she'd still been a demon, she wouldn't have. She'd still be here. Vengeance demons have the power to heal quickly, as she demonstrated when she survived being impaled in the chest with a sword by Buffy, also demonstrating that they're much stronger than other demons. Besides, Anya had learned a thing or two about what it means to be human in the time that she was, such as not being too dependent on others and knowing when to cut your losses.

Maybe there's a reason why Xander and Anya didn't get married like they were planning to. Besides Xander calling it off of course. Maybe it went deeper than that in that they weren't meant to. Maybe Anya wasn't his soul mate, but then who's to say that Dawn was? She wanted more than anything in this world to be the girl for Xander, or for him to at least think she was, but for that to happen, she'd have to get him to see her as the grown woman she now was. She knew in the back of his mind she was still "Little Dawnie", and the longer he held on to thinking of her as "Little Dawnie", the longer he'd be reluctant to be more than friends. She would be legal in 4 months, but could Xander get over the 5-year age difference? Could he ignore Buffy and the others' protests? That is, if there even would be protests. Of course there would be protests. Especially from Buffy, what with her overprotective, sisterly ways. The more important question was, could he be with her and not think of himself as a dirty old man? Her love for him, it seemed, was a forbidden love.

She wanted to believe that she could make Xander happy, that she had what it took to be the kind of girl Xander deserved to have. Maybe it was fate that Buffy picked him to stay in Cincinnati with her and not Andrew, and not just because she felt he would be the better pick between the two. Maybe them being alone together had made this past year her golden opportunity to get him to see her in a more-than-friendly way, in which case she'd been wasting valuable time by not trying harder to do so. Maybe what she needed was to change her pace, speed up the process. Maybe she needed to be more direct with Xander about her feelings. She'd kissed a guy before, a vampire named Justin who she had to dust when he tried to turn _her_ into a vampire, but she'd never actually had a boyfriend before. Would Xander mind being with a girl with so few life experiences?

She remembered when Buffy and the others dropped her and Xander off there in Cincinnati, Ohio. They had come all the way from California shortly after their victory against the First via Greyhound bus. She remembered the instructions Buffy had given Xander before she, Willow, Kennedy, Andrew, and Giles headed on to Cleveland, and the promises she made him make. They stayed for about 3 weeks; long enough to help them get settled there. It was Giles who had said that there was another Hellmouth in Cleveland that needed tending to. A Slayer's job is never done. She remembered at first wanting to protest against staying there, thinking it was her sister's way of being, well, sisterly and trying to keep her out of harm's way, something she'd tried to do many times before. However, she quickly decided against protesting once she knew that Xander would be staying too. She thought he could use some help getting over Anya by keeping him busy, and maybe that was yet another reason why Buffy picked him to stay there. Maybe she thought the same. Besides, after the battle with the First, Dawn felt she could use a break from dealing with demons and vampires. She felt she could use some time off to recuperate.

She remembered when Justin kissed her she'd pictured, fantasized, in her mind that it was Xander kissing her as she closed her eyes. She remembered she'd always hoped that Xander would be her first kiss. No matter. He was her first love. She remembered how badly she'd wanted to try on Anya's engagement ring so she could pretend she was the bride-to-be, the future Mrs. Alexander Harris. She was almost positive she would do everything in her power to make him the happiest man on Earth if he could just learn to overlook her age…

The creaking sound coming from the hinges of Xander's door snapped her back to reality as she found herself slowly opening it, then poking her head in to see if he was still awake. Indeed he was. His bed-side light still on, he looked up at her from a Cincinnati Magazine. "Dawn."

"Hey, can I come in?" Dawn asked nervously, having not thought this through enough to know what she would do if he said no. Hell, having not thought it through enough to know what her backup plan would be if he stopped her in mid-air as she took this giant leap over boundaries that she was about to take. More than anything else, it was rejection she was risking here.

"Sure." Xander put down his magazine. With that, Dawn stepped fully into his room and felt her head begin to rush and her stomach begin to tie in knots. She gulped, second-guessing her readiness. It was too late. Now that she was in there, she'd have to go through with this.

"Xander, I-"

"Neither can I."

"You can't sleep?"

"No."

"Y-you think maybe we could if we had each other's c-company? I-I don't mind sleeping on the floor if I have to."

"You know I wouldn't make you sleep on the floor, silly goose. We're better friends than that, aren't we?"

"I like to think so," Dawn commented, giving him a half-smile as she made her way over to the bed's unoccupied left side. Xander pulled back the covers on that side, Dawn having successfully achieved an invitation to his bed for the first time in the year that they'd lived together there.

"I like to think so too." With that, as Dawn got in the bed, he turned off the light on his bed-side table and moved his magazine to there. "Dawn, why are you laying at the very edge?"

"D-don't want to crowd you out?"

He sighed, shook his head, and commanded, "Come here, you" before putting his arms around her tiny waist and pulling her closer to him, taking one arm back to guide her head to his chest as she tried not to make it a big deal upon discovering that his heart was pounding just as hard as hers was. His other arm stayed around her waist, his hand slowly making its way to her stomach where her hand was. Dawn couldn't help feeling like she was finally where she belonged for the first time in her life as Xander tucked some hair behind her ear on her right side, and lo and behold, the two were asleep within 5 minutes. The next day, she'd definitely have a phone call to make.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Thanks for the review, Skiingpug. I agree that there aren't enough Dawn/Xander love stories. Makes me sad too. I wish the show could've lasted at least one more season because toward the end of season 7 I could totally see a more romantic relationship in the works between those two: The speech and kiss on the forehead he gave her at the end of "Potential" (not to mention when Willow and Anya were both saying she couldn't handle being a Potential because she was a child, Xander was sticking up for her by saying not to rush her and that she was just getting used to the idea), how worried she was about him in "Empty Places" after he lost his eye (while he was in the hospital she kept asking Buffy about him, and she was the only one to greet him with a big hug and help him to a chair when he came home, not to mention how upset she seemed at Buffy for putting him in harm's way in the first place), and last but not least, his "I concur" when Buffy said she wanted him with Dawn in "Chosen", so yeah, it's a shame we never got to see a relationship between those two. I was totally getting "potential relationship" vibes. Please note that I haven't read the season 8 comics. Anyway, glad you're enjoying the story so far, and I'll try to work on the wordiness.

If there's any confusion, this story takes place in May 2004, a year after "Chosen", which aired on May 20, 2003. Since I don't recall Dawn ever being given a birthday, I decided to go by her first appearance on the show, which was in "Buffy Vs. Dracula", which aired on September 26, 2000. Therefore, in this story, Dawn is turning 18 on September 26.

_Without further ado..._

**Chapter 3**

Dawn awoke 5 hours later to find Xander already gone. It was 11 a.m., so it was no surprise. He'd had to leave for work no less than 9:30, an hour and a half ago. It really sucked that he had to work weekends. She moved over to his side, hoping his scent would still be there so she could pretend that _he_ was. It was. She stayed there for another 10 minutes. It was then that she remembered what she had said she was going to do today before she drifted into a deep and peaceful sleep in her love's arms. After making up the bed, she headed back into her own room to retrieve a small, folded piece of notebook paper from her backpack, which had 7 digits belonging to a girl named Allison Kade. Impulsively, she retrieved the cell phone from her bed-side table and began putting in the digits. She was going to take Xander's advice from the day before and hang out with a friend her own age. A fairly new friend, but a friend nonetheless.

3 rings later, she heard a young girl's voice, presumably Allison's.

"Hello?"

"Allison, hey! It's Dawn from your English class."

"Oh, hey! That's right, I gave you my number on Friday, didn't I?"

"Y-yeah, and I gave you mine."

"Yeah, sorry, I was busy after school Friday and yesterday, so I never got the chance to call ya, or for that matter, add your number to my contacts. I almost didn't answer because I didn't know who it was."

"T-that's okay, i-if you're not busy today, I was wondering if you could come over and give me that makeover you've been talking about giving me?"

"Ah, yeah, I really think you'd look gorgeous with your hair curled and cut to your shoulders with some side bangs and red highlights. I mean, you're already gorgeous, but after that I'm almost positive there wouldn't be one guy at school who wouldn't have their eyes on you, Summers. Not even the taken ones." She was always calling her by her last name, a habit she'd no doubt picked up from her father, who used to be in the Marines. It had been about 3 or 4 months ago that they began talking in their English class, making her Dawn's first Cincinnati friend since she'd moved there. While not for the same reasons, it seemed she was just as bad at making friends as Dawn was. They'd finally broke down and exchanged numbers on Friday, two days before, and now it seemed they'd finally be hanging out outside of school for the first time, having opened up considerably to each other in those 3 or 4 months.

"So does that mean you _can_ come over today, Allison?"

"Yeah, I'm yours. I don't really have the money right now for the highlights, but we can do all the other things. I'll bring my curling iron and some scissors. I'll be over in about an hour or so. Where did you say you live again?"

"245 Avery Lane. ZIP is 45208."

"I'll look it up on MapQuest, yo."

"Alright, see ya when you get here. Call me back if you need any help getting here."

"Will do."

"Alright, bye."

"Bye."

As Dawn scrambled to get ready for the arrival of her friend, her mind wandered back to earlier that morning in Xander's arms. She couldn't help wondering why he'd want to be that close to her in a bed if he didn't feel the way she did unless he'd really thought it would help him sleep having someone to hold in his arms. Hell, maybe after a year of being celibate, and after that disastrous date, he was feeling so desperate for some physical contact with a woman that he didn't mind resorting to Dawn, but then would that mean Dawn's hopes were finally coming true and he wasn't seeing her as a kid anymore? Was he seeing her as a woman, and if so, an attractive one? Yeah, that's it, he was just taking advantage of the situation, making the best of the situation, so she shouldn't get her hopes up, should she?

***3:30 p.m. - Dawn and Allison in Dawn's room***

"So is there a reason why it's seemed like your mind has been somewhere else since I've been over here?" Allison inquired as she ran her curling iron through another piece of Dawn's now shoulder-length hair in front of the mirror in Dawn's room, putting it down to retrieve the thermal protection spray again, thinking she could use more.

"Huh?" The question caught Dawn off guard, as her mind had indeed been somewhere else.

"Girl, see, there you go again. Just about everything I've said while over here I've had to repeat at least once. Is something bothering you and you're just not telling me? Is there a particular reason why you wanted me over here?"

"I thought it was time for a change hair-wise."

"Besides that, Dawn. You shouldn't already be hard of hearing at this age, so I know that it's just that you've got something on your mind, and I want to know what it is. Don't make me guess."

"Fine, it's Xander."

"That friend of your sister's that you live with here?"

"Hey, he's _my_ friend too."

"Well, what about him?"

Dawn sighed, forgetting how persistent her friend could be sometimes. Though she continued curling her hair, it was obvious that Allison wasn't going to let the matter go. "It seems the longer this crush of mine goes on, the more unbearable it gets."

"Wait, so you have a crush on Xander?" Allison then stopped curling her hair, put the curling iron down, and looked at Dawn through the mirror incredulously, folding her arms.

"I have since I was 14, Allison. Well, I think it's more than just a crush now, and that's what the problem is. I think it's love," Dawn explained, leaning over in her chair to turn off the curling iron, figuring it would be a while before it was again put to use. She'd come pretty far in being responsible since the days she'd leave crossbows and all sorts of other weapons laying around the house, which had led to the untimely demise of Willow and Tara's cat, Miss Kitty Fantastico. She'd learned her lesson in taking safety precautions.

"Wow... How old is he again?"

"He's 23."

"Wow... How do you think your sister would react if she knew? She doesn't know, right? I bet she'd be freaked out because after all, that's a 5-year age difference right there. That and you're still a minor of course."

"I'm only a minor for 4 more months, and how she'd react is the least of my worries. My main worry is how to get him to feel the same, or how to get him to admit it if he already does. Last night he went on a date for the first time since his ex-fiance died almost a year ago. It'll be exactly a year this coming Thursday I believe. Anyway, even though his date didn't turn out well, it's prompted me to want to try putting the moves on him myself, to want to try being more direct with him, before another girl comes along because if him going on a date means he's ready to try to get over Anya, then I'm ready to help him do so." She paused, leaned further back in the chair, then added, "Hell, I'm more than ready to help him do so. I love him, Allison. I hate seeing him alone and miserable when he doesn't have to be, and I really think I could give him what he deserves. Him going on a date last night has made me realize that I don't have all the time in the world to try winning him over if I think I have what it takes."

"_Do_ you think you have what it takes?" Allison asked, noticing she was close to tears as she pulled out a Kleenex from a Kleenex box on Dawn's bed-side table and handed it to her, now looking at her friend with more sympathy and less shock than before.

Dawn took a moment to wipe off her eyes, then answered, "Yeah, I do. I'd hate for another girl to come along and snatch him up from me, and last night one almost came close to doing so. Luckily for me, she screwed up by acting like a diva. I was in my room crying the whole time he was out on his date. Well, okay, I went downstairs to make me sandwich about 5 minutes before he came home, but the point is, I thought I'd waited too long to tell him how I feel that I'd missed my chance, and believe it or not, I was secretly relieved when he came home and told me his date went badly up until I realized how upset he was."

"You know, there are some very simple ways to get a guy to fall in love with you according to this magazine I read once, and might I add, very fool-proof ways," Alice began, patting her friend on the back as she took another moment to blow her nose. "They're more or less certain qualities that a guy finds attractive: One, self-confidence. Two, trust-worthiness. Three, self-sufficiency. Four, spontaneity. In addition, guys like girls who pay attention to them and pay them compliments. _Sincere_ compliments."

"Well, I do pay attention to him, and I do pay him sincere compliments. I've got the trustworthiness down, and for the most part the self-confidence, but I'll have to work on the other two. Thanks, Allison. I owe you one."

Allison laughed and said, "No you don't, but you're welcome."

"You know, no offense," Dawn began again, "but I didn't want to tell you all this at first because we haven't really been friends for very long and I was afraid you'd, well, judge me. I was afraid you'd think I was weird for feeling this way about a guy 5 years older than me, especially when he's sort of acting as my guardian while my sister is away on business."

"Oh, come on, if you're weird for crushing on a guy in his 20's, then I'm weird for crushing on Johnny Deep when he's in his flippin' 40's. Really, Dawn, it's no biggie. Lighten up, will ya? It just came as a _shock _to me is all because I was expecting it to be something school-related, like maybe you were failing a class. I wasn't expecting you to tell me you're crushing on-I'm sorry, in love with-a guy in his 20's." With that, Allison turned the curling iron back on to resume curling Dawn's hair, the shock having worn off, then added, "So how close are you two?"

"Very close," Dawn answered, tossing her used Kleenex into a trash can before adding, "We're definitely more touchy-feely than before."

"Touchy-feely? How so?"

"Oh, he's just given me kisses on my forehead when I've been upset, and we've held hands. Oh, and uh, last night we took the whole touchy-feelyness a step further by sleeping together in his bed for the first time."

"By 'sleeping' you actually _mean _'sleeping' I hope?"

"Yeah, I do," Dawn said, laughing, then turning around and smacking her friend lightly on the arm as if to warn her to behave. "He let me sleep with my head on his chest, and he slept with one arm around me."

"How romantic," Allison teased as she curled the last piece left of Dawn's hair and then turned her around to fluff up her new bangs. "If you ask me, it sounds like you two are already pretty much dating, so take my advice and just be more self-sufficient and more spontaneous."

"How could I be more self-sufficient?"

"Get a part-time job?"

"Oh, come on..."

"Hey, if you're interested, we're hiring at McDonald's. There's a cashier position available. I can get an application for ya when I go in tomorrow evening and then bring it to school on Tuesday if you're serious about wanting to impress the incredible and remarkable Xander Harris." Turning Dawn back around the other way, facing the mirror, she grinned and asked, "Now what do you think of your new hair, girl? Tsk tsk. All this talk about lover boy and not one word about the hard work I've done here?"

"Does it make me look more 'grown up'?"

"Hmm... Actually, yeah, it does."

"Then it's perfect, Allison. I love it. Thanks."

"You're welcome. Wanting to look more 'grown up' to Xander I assume?" Allison raised an accusing eyebrow at her friend of only 3 or 4 months.

"Exactly," Dawn said, getting up from the chair and looking into the trash can filled with her hair and the Kleenex she'd used 10 minutes before. Allison then sat in the chair and proceeded to curl her own shoulder-length bleached blonde locks.

"Thanks again, for the hair cut and for the advice," Dawn said, noting to herself how much lighter her hair now felt with a good 5 to 6 inches of it gone.

"You're welcome. Again."

"Oh, and Allison?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll take an application."

***5:15 p.m. - Xander comes home***

The girls looked up from their Blackjack cards as they heard Dawn's door creak open, and in stepped Xander in his construction work clothes.

"Dawn, I'm-Whoa, who's this? I was wondering who that black Hyundai in the driveway belonged to." He pointed at Allison, who quickly put down her cards and held out her hand for him to shake.

"Ah, you must be Mr. Harris. I'm a friend of Dawn's. I'm in her English class. The name's Allison. Allison Kade."

As he stepped forward to shake her hand, he said, "Well, hello. Nice to meet you, Allison. Please don't call me Mr. Harris. It makes me feel old." Turning to Dawn, he added, "So, Dawn, you decided to take my advice I assume?"

She nodded, then looked down and began gathering up the Blackjack cards to put back in the box that had been tossed aside. "Aren't you gonna say something about my shorter and curlier hair while you're in here? And my side bangs?"

"Yes," He answered, turning to Allison again. "Did you do that? Because if you did, I like. You think you could do something with mine?"

"I like yours the way it is," Dawn blurted out as she handed the box of cards to Allison to be put back on one of the shelves.

"Thanks, Xander. Glad you approve. Doesn't she look more mature?" She winked at Dawn and nudged her before getting off the bed and making her way over to the shelves.

"As a matter of fact, she does. Kind of makes me wish I was 17 again."

"I plan on putting some red highlights in it when I get paid next Friday, so I hope you're not against her having highlights."

"Oh no, that'll look gorgeous."

"I agree. You know, I don't mean to be rude, but I can't help asking... What's with the eye patch? Not that there's anything wrong with it or anything because, to me, eye patch equals pirate equals Captain Jack Sparrow equals Johnny Deep equals ungodly hotness."

"Well, thanks, but uh, I actually don't wear it to look like a pirate. I wear it because of an accident a year ago that involved a paint ball gun and a bottle of Smirnoff Vodka." Dawn couldn't help rolling her eyes at him using that same lame story he'd used on his date, no matter how much more believable it was.

"Dang... So what, are you a recovering alcoholic?" Allison asked as she made her way back over to Dawn's bed, greeted with a nudge.

"You know, Allison, your bluntness reminds me of someone I used to know back when we lived in California, as does your nosiness," Xander remarked, shaking his head and smiling at the similarities between the two females. Dawn knew he meant Anya. Come to think of it, she reminded her of her too. She looked up when she heard Xander say her name. "Hey, Dawn, I have a little extra cash on me, so I was going to see if you wanted to go grab something to eat at Denny's, but now that I know about your friend here, she's more than welcome to go with us."

"Uh, your treat, right?" Allison chimed in as she began to slip back on her flip flops.

"Of course."

"Great, sure!"

"Great. What about you, Dawn?"

"I'm up for it," she mumbled, retrieving her cell phone from her bed-side table.

"Great, but first, I have to change out of these clothes. You girls get ready and I'll meet you downstairs in about 5 minutes."

As soon as he left the room, the first thing to come out of Allison's mouth was, "You want to help him with that, don't ya?"

"What?"

"Change out of his work clothes."

"Shut up, Allison! God, you're embarrassing!"

"What, are you getting mad at me?"

"No, I'm sorry, I just hate that you and your ways remind him of the person I'm wanting him to get over, his ex-fiance."

"Oh, is that who he was referring to? His ex-fiance? I'm sorry, Dawn. Okay, look, I'll try not to talk as much at dinner then so that he's not distracted from thinking of you and how gorgeous you look with that new hair style."

"Okay, deal."

"Yay! I have one thing to ask though before we go."

"What's that?"

"How the hell does he still do construction work with only one eye?"

"Not easily."

***Later that night***

After they got back from Denny's, the three watched a movie. When the movie went off around 9:30 and Xander left the room for a moment to put the bag of Grippo's back in the kitchen cabinet, Allison turned to Dawn and said, "Guess I'd better head on home now, huh? It's getting late. I've got some last minute things I need to do before school tomorrow, like study for the test I have in my Chemistry class. Besides, I know you probably want some alone time with Xander, so I'll see ya tomorrow, Summers."

"Aww, alright, take care. Oh, wait, let me get your curling iron. It's still in my room." Dawn went to get up, only to be pushed back down on the couch by Allison as she slipped back on her flip flops.

"Don't worry about it, you can keep that one. I have another one. You might decide you like your hair better curly, or, you know, Xander might, in which case you're going to need your own curling iron, so consider it an early birthday present from me, gorgeous." The two friends exchanged smiles.

"See, told ya I owe ya one," Dawn said, retrieving the remote from the coffee table to eject the DVD just as Xander came back into the room yawning, signaling that he was ready for bed, in which case Allison had the right idea to go on and leave.

"Xander, hey, I'm about to head on home, but I want you to know I had fun, and I'll definitely be coming over more. Thanks for dinner, and for not freaking out over Dawn's hair of course," Allison said, getting up to shake his hand again. On the way, she retrieved her cell phone and the scissors she'd used to cut Dawn's hair from the coffee table.

"You're welcome, and you're definitely welcome to come over more. Glad to hear you enjoyed dinner and the movie. Have a safe drive home. You'll be seeing Dawn tomorrow at school I assume?"

"That I will be, and yeah, The Ring is in my top favorite movies."

"Alright, goodnight then, Allison."

"Goodnight, Xander. Goodnight, Dawn."

Dawn got up to give her friend a hug, then watched as she headed out to her car, got in, and drove off until she reached the end of the street and turned on to the next one.

"Your friend's something else," Xander said as Dawn shut the door, stepping forward to put a hand on her shoulder, as if to say he didn't mean it in a bad way, or that he really didn't mind that she was something else.

"Yeah, she's a character, isn't she?"

Xander thought for a moment, then said, "Nah, we'll go with 'something else'."

"She does have a hard time making friends, but hey, I do too. I like that she's laid back and easy going, but yeah, I guess her bluntness and nosiness _can_ get annoying sometimes."

"Oh, I don't mind it, Dawnie. After being with Anya for 3 years, I'm used to bluntness and nosiness. It has no affect on me anymore. I'm just glad you took my advice and you have a friend to hang out with now your own age."

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Well, actually, she just turned 17 a month ago, whereas I'll be turning 18 in 4 months. You forget I would've been a senior this year, but I'm repeating my junior year since I, well, didn't get to finish it in Sunnydale, what with the threat of a pending apocalypse."

"No, I didn't forget, but hey, this means you have a whole other year to hang out with her, so cheer up, will ya?"

"I know, but it still sucks because next month I would've been getting ready to graduate." She sighed, causing Xander to remove his hand from her shoulder and instead put it around her waist, pushing her forward so that her nose was touching his chest and using his other hand to feel how smooth her hair was.

"You know, you really do look more mature. Allison really did do a great job on your hair, and when you see her tomorrow you should tell her for me that she should consider getting enrolled in a hair styling school of some sort when she graduates."

"I will, thanks." As he continued to run his hand through her hair, she gulped and tried her hardest to refrain from closing her eyes. She didn't want him to think she was enjoying him doing that, even if she was. And yes, she was. Slowly, his hand moved from her hair to her jaw line, and then finally to her chin, where he stopped, but continued for a moment longer to look deep into her eyes. Cupping his hand under her chin, he finally snapped out of his trance and broke the silence between them, no longer at a loss for words.

"Do you know what I like the most about this new hair style?"

"What?" Dawn asked as she took his hand from her chin and, like she had the night before, moved it to her chest where her heart was.

"It brings out your facial features more," Xander calmly answered, adding, "Especially your eyes. Don't you know that's why I'm always tucking all that hair back behind your ears when it's hiding your face? You're beautiful. Not just gorgeous. Allison couldn't have been more wrong there. You deserve to have any guy you want, Dawnie. That's how beautiful you are." Taking his hand back from her and putting it on her face, he began to sing to her the chorus to "Everything Everyway" by Sunk Loto. "I said so please don't change because you're perfect to me, I said so please don't change just for the moment, because you're beautiful in everyway, I said don't change a thing if you're beautiful in everyway..."

"Serenading me, Xander?"

He smiled, then said, "Maybe." With that, he took his hand off her face, turned around, and began walking up the stairs, only to be stopped when Dawn caught up with him and tapped him on the shoulder, who at this point was dumbfounded, and it showed on her face as she spoke.

"Where are you going?"

"To bed."

"In that case, mind if I join you again?"

"Not at all."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"God, who really gives a shit about Shakespeare?" Allison exclaimed as she put _Romeo and Juliet _back down on her desk in her and Dawn's English class. The teacher had given them time to read as there was only 20 minutes left of class.

Dawn, who was in the desk next to hers, asserted, "Lots of people. His works to this day are considered some of the finest works in the English language."

"Well, not to me. His 'English' gives me a headache." With that, Allison changed the subject so as not to offend anyone around her who might actually like Shakespeare. "So how were things with Xander after I went home?"

"Ah, we slept together again," Dawn answered, smiling as she remembered what all had happened before they went upstairs.

"That's great, Summers. Guess I left at the right time then, huh? My timing is perfect when it comes to those things." Allison teased as she began to put her things back in her backpack ahead of time, anxiously waiting for the end of class.

"Indeed, but it gets better than that by like, 3 times. Before we went upstairs to bed, he seemed totally mesmerized by me. Like, he couldn't stop looking-no, gazing-at me, what with the new hair style and my looking more mature. This was after I shut the door when I couldn't see your car anymore. I turned around and there he was. He asked if I knew what he liked the most about my hair, and basically it's that it brings out my facial features more. Especially my eyes. The best part was right after that though when he called me beautiful and began serenading me," Dawn explained, the hopefulness obvious in her eyes.

"Wow... He serenaded you? What did he sing?" Allison asked, an eyebrow raised at Xander's actions.

"Oh, a song by Sunk Loto. You probably haven't heard it or of them because they were an alternative metal band from Queensland, Australia. The point is, I've never been happier in the past year than I was last night when a sudden wave of realization came over him and he realized that not only am I woman now, but also an attractive one. I definitely think this has to be a good sign for us." Dawn, too, began putting her things back in her backpack as there was now only 10 minutes left of class.

"Do you still want me to get you an application from McDonald's?"

"Oh yes. Today I might try doing something spontaneous."

"Like what?"

"That's what I was about to ask _you_, girl."

Allison laughed, then suggested, "Uh, make him dinner maybe?"

"Well, he's gotten mad when I've offered to make him a sandwich before, but I know if I made him his favorite meal of all time, Spanish spaghetti, it'd be impossible for him to turn down or object to," Dawn said confidently, adding, "Besides, things are different now between us, or at least I hope they are. I-I mean, don't most men like a woman making them dinner at least every once in a while?"

"I suppose," Allison said as she leaned over and began drawing a heart with an arrow going through it on Dawn's desk, then wrote "DS + XH" in the heart, looking up at Dawn with a look of mischievousness.

"Hey now, that's vandalism," Dawn said quietly, looking over at the teacher to make sure she was occupied, which she was.

Allison shrugged, then said, "Vandalism shmandalism. Don't you like my drawing?"

Dawn sighed, then said, "Not the point, but yes."

"I thought you would." On that note, the bell rang, signifying the end of class.

***5:15 p.m. - After school***

"Dawn, where are ya?" Xander hollered as he shut the door, throwing his keys on the coffee table.

It was then that Dawn came out of the kitchen and, with the biggest smirk on her face, announced, "Ah, good, you're home. Just in time too. I made you Spanish spaghetti, your favorite."

"What? You made me dinner? Why?" Xander asked, a look of surprise on his face as he followed her back into the kitchen and was greeted with the smell, adding, "Didn't I say that I don't expect you to do that for me?"

"Yeah, and I know you don't expect me to, but I wanted to, so shut up and eat it, will ya? Before it gets cold?" Dawn teased as she got him out a plate.

"I can't eat all that by myself, Dawnie."

"Then I'll help you eat it, but you get first dibs." She handed him the plate.

"You're stubborn, you know that?" Xander stated and asked as he headed over and looked into the big pot of spaghetti, and knowing her history of carelessness, his first instinct was make sure the stove was turned off, which it was. "What's all this about anyway?"

"I'm just trying to be more spontaneous."

"More spontaneous? Why?"

"Isn't it good to be spontaneous?"

"Well, yeah, but why?"

"Uh, because it keeps things fresh?"

He looked at her like she had two heads. "No, I don't mean why it is good to be spontaneous. Why are you _wanting to be_ spontaneous?"

"To keep things fresh, Xander."

"I give up," Xander muttered, sighing as he sat down at the table with a plate full of his favorite spaghetti, before adding, "Thank you, Dawn, for the spaghetti, but you really didn't need to do this."

"I know I didn't need to, but again, I wanted to."

"To keep things fresh, huh?"

"Exactly," Dawn confirmed as she, too, sat down at the table. "Doesn't it eventually get tiresome keeping the same ol' routine? Don't you sometimes want to switch things up so that life doesn't become, well, stale?"

"Well, yeah, but Dawn, when did you get so philosophical on me? Are you sure there's that deep a meaning behind you fixing me dinner, or is it something a little more simple?"

"Just try it, Xander. Please." Not wanting to upset Dawn, he then shut up long enough to take a bite. Chewing, he nodded his head at Dawn in approval, as if to say she'd cooked it right, which was a relief since she'd never cooked spaghetti before. "You like?"

He nodded again. After he swallowed, he admitted, "You did pretty well, but still, I find it hard to believe you did this to be more spontaneous."

"Believe it," she commanded, adding, "I want to keep you on your toes."

"Well, you're definitely off to a good start here," Xander muttered, pointing to his plate. "Didn't you say you'd have some?"

***Later that night***

While Xander was taking a shower later that night, around 8, Dawn was taking a nap on the couch, having fallen asleep while watching _Will & Grace_. She awoke suddenly to the sound of a phone ringing on the coffee table. She recognized the ring tone, so she automatically knew it was Xander's. Grumbling to herself as she got up to see who it was who had interrupted her nap, she debated on whether it'd even be right to answer it depending on who it was, or if she, since it wasn't her phone, should just let it go. Retrieving the phone from the coffee table, the name she saw on the screen sent a wave of dread and panic throughout her body and not just a mere shiver up her spine.

Serena Brooke.

Why would she be calling Xander after the way she acted on their date? To apologize? Did she want another chance? _Shit,_ _this can't be happening to me. Why is this happening to me? Just when I'm beginning to make some progress with Xander, she decides to a call and ask for another chance? _Jealousy and curiosity having gotten the best of her, after the 5th ring, she finally answered Xander's phone.

"Hello?"

"Uh, who's this? This is Xander Harris' number, right?"

"He's in the shower."

"I see. Well, that brings me back to my first question then I suppose. Who's this?"

"I-I'm Dawn."

"Dawn? Are you his girlfriend?"

"N-no, I just live here."

"With Xander?"

"Yes. We're just friends."

"I see. Well, when he gets out will you have him call me?"

"After the way you acted on you all's date?"

"Uh, how did I act on our date?"

"From what I heard, like a diva. A psycho bitch."

"Oh, so he told you about our date? Just how close are you and Xander that he thought he could share details about our date?"

"We've known each other for 4 years if that's what you're asking, Serena. And I'm sorry, but I really don't think he wants to talk to you anymore after that little fit you threw over not getting your way for what I'm guessing was probably the first time in your whole life, so my advice is to back off Xander and find some other guy, some dumbass, to buy you expensive meals."

"Getting a little defensive there, aren't we? Are you sure you're not his girlfriend? Because I can guarantee that once I get through to him, you won't be anymore."

"Okay, look, it's only been two days since you all's date. How would he have already found someone else?"

"Xander's a good looking guy."

"Okay, point taken there. Still, no one moves on that fast, Serena. Not even the good looking ones."

"You'd be surprised then, Dawn."

"Maybe I would be, but look, the point is, after a date that disastrous, there's no hope of you getting another chance, so you may as well leave Xander alone."

"How do you know there's no hope?"

"Uh, hello? I said I've known him for 4 years, didn't I?"

"Fine, I'll just keep calling until it's finally him who answers."

"Well, you have fun with that because I can guarantee that once I tell him you called he's going to have your number blocked so you can't call anymore."

"You bitch, you're lucky I don't know you and Xander's address because otherwise I would come over there right now and kick your ass."

"Goodbye, Serena."

With that, Dawn hung up the phone, feeling triumphant, when from behind her she heard Xander's voice.

"Serena called?"

"Xander, I-I didn't hear you turn the water off upstairs. I-I didn't even hear you come _down_ the stairs."

Xander, with wet hair and nothing on but a towel, remarked, "Must've been pretty absorbed in the chat you were having with Serena on _my_ phone then, huh?"

"I suppose. Are you mad?"

"Depends."

"On what?"

"What did Serena want?"

_Do I tell him the truth? Do I tell him she wanted another chance? What if it turns out he actually would've given her another chance? But then if I lie, so much for having the "trustworthy" part already down, huh? I would then have to work on that in addition to being more self-sufficient and spontaneous. That would be like taking a step backwards instead of forewords. I just feel like I can't let a bitch like her get in the way of my progress… He deserves better than Serena… Hell, if I'm even having this debate, maybe I'm actually not any better than Serena… Maybe he deserves better than both of us… I've never lied to him about anything before. Why start now? Surely it would just come back to bite me in the ass. Damn it, it'd be sooo much easier to decide what to do if he wasn't so… So naked… Oh my god, it's distracting how hot he is… Why didn't he put some clothes on before coming down here? If he had, he would've missed my conversation with Serena altogether, wouldn't he?_

"Dawn? Are you still here?"

"Yeah, sorry… She uh, she wanted another chance…"

"Another chance? Really? As in she wanted to go on another date?"

"More or less. But Xander, she didn't even apologize… I mean, for the way she acted last time… How dare she think she can just ask for another chance and not have to apologize for blowing her first chance? Besides, when I told her you probably wouldn't want to give her another chance, she called me a bitch and threatened to come over here and kick my ass. I uh, I think she thinks I'm the reason you wouldn't want to. I think she thinks you've already moved on, even though I told her we're just friends."

"Well, I can see _why_ she'd think that, Dawn, if she does. After all, you answered the phone instead of me, which you shouldn't have done. You should've just let it go, you should've just let it ring, and I would've gotten back with her when I got out of the shower and saw that I had a missed call, but now, since you answered the phone, she thinks you're my girlfriend, and that by answering the phone that was your way of 'claiming' me, so no, there's no second date in the works."

"Uh, did you miss the part where she didn't apologize? And the part where she called me a bitch and threatened to kick my ass?"

"No, and she should have."

"She should've kicked my ass?"

"She should have apologized, and I don't like that she called you a bitch and threatened to kick your ass, but do you know what else I don't like? I don't like that you automatically assumed I wouldn't give her another chance. I don't like that you told her that instead of just telling her you would have me call her back when I got out of there. Sure, our first date was terrible, but you know, I've been single for two years, so I'm getting kind of desperate here. Who the hell do you think you are to decide _for_ me who gets and who _doesn't_ get another chance? From now on, why don't you stay out of my love life? Let me make my own damn decisions regarding my love life."

"Xander, I'm sorry, I only answered it because I was curious. I saw who it was, and I answered it because I wanted to see what she wanted since I knew you hadn't heard from her since you all's date two nights ago. Please don't be mad at me. If it'll make it any better, she said she would keep calling until it's finally you who answers. Maybe that means she doesn't believe me? Maybe that means she doesn't believe that you wouldn't give her another chance?"

"I'll call her back before work in the morning. It's getting late. Hopefully we'll get this straightened out, and hopefully next time you'll know not to butt into my business."

"Xander, I really thought I was doing the right thing here, but if I can say I'm sorry and admit my mistake, why can't she?"

"I'm going to bed."

"Xander…"

"Goodnight, Dawn. And don't you still have your own bed? You should sleep in it tonight, instead of following me to mine." With that, he began walking back up the stairs, and Dawn, frozen where she was, let him do so.

_I should have lied, shouldn't I?_

***2:30 a.m. – 6 ½ hours later***

"Dawn? Wake up please," Xander commanded, shaking Dawn, finally waking her up after 3 tries.

"Xander?" Confused, she sat up in the bed and turned on the light on her bed-side table. "What's wrong?"

"I was. Look, I know you have school, and I know I have work, but we need to talk, and I'm sure you agree."

"Well, you go first." Frowning, she folded her arms.

"I'm sorry, Dawn. I'm sorry I yelled at you down there. I was out of line. I know when you answered the phone you thought you had my best interest at heart, and I simply can't yell at you or be mad at you for that, so-"

"I _did_ have your best interest at heart, Xander. I told her you wouldn't give her another chance because I _knew_ it'd be best for you to forget about her and find someone else, so don't you give me that 'I know you thought' crap because I know you better than you think I do, and I know what you deserve. You deserve to have a girl who doesn't make you feel like shit for not splurging your money on her on the first date, and I must know you better than you know yourself if you think otherwise."

"Okay, okay, you're right, I do deserve better than Serena, but like I said down there, I was getting desperate..."

"If you gave her another chance, she would just blow it like she did the first one. People don't change overnight, Xander, or for that matter, over the course of _two_ nights. First impressions are more important than you realize. Especially on first dates. A second date wouldn't have been any better than the first one on account of, once a bitch, always a bitch, so she would've just turned around and found something else to bitch about, and then afterwards you'd be upset like you were after the first date two nights ago."

"God, Dawn, I was being so stupid down there… Yelling at you when all you were doing was trying to protect me from getting hurt again… You're right, if I went on a second date with her I wouldn't be any worse off, but I wouldn't be any better off either, so what I need to do before work, instead of calling her, is block her number so I can move on with my life. If she said she'd keep calling, there's no doubt in my mind that she will, and we can't have that, now can we?"

"Why was her number even still in your contacts?"

"I forgot about it," Xander said defensively, then, sitting on the very edge of the bed, he unfolded her arms and took the closest hand in his. "You know, I really couldn't ask for a better friend than you, Dawnie. You're not afraid to call me out when I'm not making sense. Sometimes that's what I need is for someone to not be afraid to tell me when I'm being an idiot, so thanks, Dawn, for being that someone."

"Well, who else is going to do it since Buffy isn't here anymore?" Dawn teased, and with that, Xander gave her hand a squeeze.

"Maybe I was wrong two nights ago."

"About what?"

"I mean, I know Buffy wanted me taking care of you, but she never said she didn't want you taking care of me. Maybe we need to take care of each other and not just me of you, even if I'm a grown man. Maybe-maybe sometimes I need to be taken care of too. As long as we're living here, I'm all you have and you're all I have. All we have is each other, and I'm a firm believer in making the best of what you have."

Dawn smiled, then said, "Me too."

"No more fighting then, okay? Let's not let Serena get between us. We're too important to each other, or at least you are to me. From now on, if you want to make me dinner, you go right ahead. If you want to answer my phone, you go right ahead. And, in keeping up with your new-found need for spontaneousness, I'm sleeping with _you_ in _your_ bed tonight instead of you sleeping with me in mine. How's that?"

"Whoa… That _is_ spontaneous," Dawn commented as she moved over to the other side.

"Maybe I should change my middle name to 'Spontaneous'?" Xander joked as he got in on her original side.

"Hmm… Alexander Spontaneous Harris."

"It's got a ring to it, doesn't it?"

"It's certainly better than LaVelle."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Guys, I'm sorry, and I thank you for your patience. I know it's been over a week, but something very sudden and unexpected happened last Tuesday that I've been upset over ever since: My 42-year-old uncle had a stroke and fell into a coma. A week later, he's still in the ICU, and he still hasn't woken up from the coma. I've been too busy visiting him every day to write. Don't worry, I do plan on continuing this story in spite of recent events, but know that until he's more stable it may take me longer to write a chapter than it _had_ been taking me. I know that there was only a 2 or 3-day gap in between the first 4 chapters, but future chapters, like this one, may take me a week or so.

Oh, and it has been brought to my attention that this story is up to 11 subscribers and 2 reviews. This cheers me up a little, no joke. Since after 4 chapters it had only gotten 5 subscribers and one review, I was beginning to wonder if this story wasn't going to be much of a "hit" or a success.

**Chapter 5**

"What the hell? I can't believe he came that close to calling her back and giving her another chance," Allison remarked as the two looked around for seats in the school cafeteria. "And he had the nerve to get mad at you for answering his phone when you were just looking out for his ass."

"Well, that wasn't the only reason I answered his phone," Dawn corrected her, holding her trey with one hand and using the other to point to an empty corner spot in the cafeteria.

"I know, I know, you felt 'threatened' by her, for lack of better words. You didn't want her getting in the way of your progress," Allison explained as she and Dawn finally sat down with their treys.

"Actually, she really did threaten me."

"She did? How?"

"She threatened to kick my ass."

"Please tell me she doesn't know where you and Xander live."

"No. It was when I told her Xander would probably have her number blocked once he found out she called so she couldn't anymore."

"Sounds like you've made your first enemy here, Summers. Congrats," Allison remarked as she opened her juice.

"Gee, thanks."

"Okay, look, if you ask me, it sounds like Xander is a little confused, or a little indecisive. It sounds like he may be beginning to see you in a different light, and that scares him because, well, he used to babysit you for Pete's sake. He's slowly beginning to see a potential girlfriend in you because of how well you treat him, and he doesn't want to admit it because he's ashamed to. He doesn't even want to admit it to himself, let alone to you, whether it's because of the age gap or because of how your sister might react or because he doesn't want to ruin the close friendship that you two have."

"Or maybe it's all of the above?" Dawn cut in, rolling her eyes.

"Maybe. The point is, right now you two are somewhere in the middle. You're in the transition stage."

"T-the transition stage?"

"Yeah, as in somewhere between friends and boyfriend and girlfriend, what with the whole sleeping together you've been doing the past 3 nights."

"Don't forget the holding hands."

"Okay, yeah, the touchy-feelyness. And, to be honest, I don't see it getting any further than that unless you encourage it to. In a subtle manner, that is. You need to encourage him to do more than just hold your hand and kiss your forehead and sleep in your bed with you and whatever else he does. You need to hurry up and just tell him how you feel because he thinks he's alone in this. The longer you're quiet about your own feelings, the longer it's going to take to surpass this transition stage."

"So in other words, you don't see him acting on his new-found feelings? You don't see him making the first move?"

"Exactly. _You're_ going to need to make the first move."

"Lame," Dawn murmured, biting into her row at the same time Allison bit into hers. After swallowing, she added, "Could those things be why he at first _thought_ he wanted to give Serena another chance?"

"What?

"Because he thought it'd be more appropriate to try again with Serena than to try with me?"

"Because of the age gap for instance?"

"Yeah, for instance."

"It's possible."

"So what, he's desperate enough to try again with Serena, but not desperate enough to try with me?"

"Don't look at it as him being desperate. So far Serena has been the first girl in Cinci, and the first girl since his ex-fiance died, to show any interest in him, and since he doesn't _know_ about _your_ interest in him, he thinks he's limited in his options. He thinks Serena is his only option for a girlfriend, so of course he's going to want to hold on to his only option if that's what he thinks. If he found out about your interest in him, I can guarantee that Serena would become old news. If he was asked about Serena, he'd be like, 'Serena who?' He'd realize that he does have another option besides Serena, a _better_ option than Serena, if you made a move. So if anything, it's only when it comes to Serena that he's desperate."

"So what, he was only willing to try again with Serena as a last resort because he thinks no one else is interested in him, or because he thinks it wouldn't be appropriate on a moral level to try with me?"

"Exactly, both of those. Dawn, take my advice and make the first move. You'll be boinking him before you know it if you just take my advice."

"Allison! Be appropriate!"

"Sorry, guess I forgot where we are."

"Besides, you do know I'm still a virgin, right?"

Grinning, Allison remarked, "Then I sure hope Serena knows what she's up against, because men are known to uh, prefer virgins."

"How do you know Serena's not a virgin?"

"Well, because she's probably Xander's age, or at least closer to his age than you are," Allison reasoned before taking another sip of her juice. "I mean, if he met her at a bar, she's got to be at least 21, doesn't she?"

"Okay, you've got me there," Dawn surrendered, putting both hands up in the air before adding, "Hey, where's that McDonald's application you said you'd get for me?"

"Oh, right, it's a good thing you reminded me," Allison said, putting down her juice. "Yeah, I have it right here in my backpack if you can wait a minute. Oh, by the way, I gushed to the manager about what a hard worker you are. Don't thank me." With that, she picked her backpack up off the floor beside her and put it on the table. After opening it, she retrieved the application from inside a red folder and handed it to Dawn, who then squealed in delight and, in return, gave her the biggest of hugs.

**5:15 p.m. –Xander's home***

"Hey Dawn, what are you up to? Is that homework you're doing there?" Xander asked as he stepped into Dawn's room and saw her sitting on her bed Indian style.

Pen in hand and application in her lap, she looked up and answered, "No, I've already done that. This is a job application I'm filling out, for McDonald's."

"Whoa... You want a job?"

"Why do you sound so surprised?"

"Well uh, because you've been old enough to get a job for almost two years and you're just now expressing an interest in getting one?"

"Guess that's another thing I'm working on, along with being more spontaneous."

"What? Being more self-sufficient?"

"Exactly." Xander came over and sat next to her on the bed just in time to see her list some teachers as references.

"Dare I ask why you want to be more self-sufficient? Not that I don't want you to be or anything, it's just I hope it's not because I'm doing a terrible job taking care of you, because I'll admit that sometimes after paying rent, utilities, phone service, and car insurance, I could use a little help with paying for groceries."

"Why didn't you say anything before now?"

Xander shrugged, then said, "I didn't want you to think you _had_ to get a job if you weren't ready to get one. I never would've asked nor expected you to get one until you were ready because I know that school can be a job in itself sometimes."

"But let me guess: Because you _have _beenstruggling a bit, you're secretly happy that I'm getting one? You're happy that I'll be able to help you out more with things around here? If they hire me, that is."

"Dawn, it's McDonald's. Why wouldn't they?" he laughed, putting an arm around her as she continued to write. "But yes, if you think you're ready for a job, then by all means, get one. I'm all for you getting one. I'm uh, I'm definitely supportive of you getting one."

"Guess now you know what it's like to be a single parent, huh?" Dawn teased, instantly regretting reminding him that he was acting as a parent while Buffy was gone, and reminding him that his love for her, if developing into a romantic type love, was considered, to society, inappropriate.

"Eh, yeah, I guess so," Xander murmured, retracting his arm a bit, which told Dawn that she'd made him uncomfortable. "Hey, how'd you get this application anyway?"

"Allison got me one. She works at McDonald's. She mentioned the day she was over here that they're hiring, so I asked her to pick me up one, and sure enough, not only did she do that, but she also mentioned to the manager that I'm a hard worker to give me a better chance of being hired in spite of my not having any previous work experience."

"Well, I'll be damned. That's some friend you've got there."

"I thought you didn't like Allison."

"Hey, I said she's blunt and nosey," he corrected her, patting her on the back as she continued to write. "I didn't say I didn't like her. Anya was blunt and nosey, and I _loved_ her, didn't I?"

"Got me there."

"When's she coming over again anyway?"

"I think she's off Thursday."

"Cool, I'm off Thursday too. See if she can come over then, will ya? She did say she'd be coming over more."

"I will. And yeah, she did."

"How exactly do you plan to drop this application off up there when you're done?"

"Uh, I was hoping you could take me. If you can't, I can catch a bus, but, well, I'd need money for bus fare."

"I'll take ya, it's no trouble," he assured her, grinning as he added, "Besides, according to GM, only freaks and weirdos ride the bus."

"I really should get my license, shouldn't I?"

"Baby steps, Dawn," Xander reminded her as she signed her name on the bottom of the last page. "Take baby steps. One step at a time."

***Later that night***

"They should call you in a few days," Xander said as he made himself and Dawn each two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. "If not, call them and ask if your application has been looked at, or is being considered, and if not, screw them, we'll try somewhere else."

"Well, Allison claims they're getting desperate," Dawn said, sitting at the table. "Let's hope desperate enough to hire someone with no experience."

"Oh, come on, don't be so hard on yourself, Dawnie."

"I'm joking, Xander."

"Oh, okay. Guess it's harder to see the humor in things with only one eye."

"Literally and metaphorically, huh?"

"Exactly," he laughed as he brought two plates over to the table, one for him and one for Dawn, then took the seat next to hers.

"I really hope they hire me so we don't keep having to resort to sandwiches."

"Me too. Hard to be spontaneous when you're broke."

"We're broke?"

"Not exactly, but we're getting there. It's okay, I get paid this Friday, so even if you don't get this job, no worries."

"Well, if I do, when I get my first paycheck, we'll have to celebrate."

"Yes, we will. I'm glad to be a part of this 'milestone' in your life."

Dawn's smile suddenly turned into a frown as she remembered something. "Hey, what about Serena? Did you get that dealt with?"

"Well, I actually didn't have time to call T-Mobile's customer service before work, so I did it on my break, and might I add that before break, I felt my phone vibrate. You can probably guess who it was."

Dawn, smiling again, then asked, "So no more calls from Serena?"

Xander shook his head and picked his sandwich up again to take another bite. "No, no more calls from Serena."

***Before bed***

"I can't tell him tonight… Because, Allison, it's still too soon to do so… No, I'm not making excuses… No, I'm not chickening out here… Yes, I'm sure he really blocked her number and didn't just tell me that to get me off his back, Allison, so can we please talk about something else?... No, why would he lie?... Okay, look, the reason I don't want to tell him tonight is that I don't want to ruin the good day we've had here, and I don't want him to suspect that _that's_ the reason I wanted him to block her number and not because I thought Serena wasn't right for him… Okay, yes, I know that's _part_ of the reason I wanted him to… What?... How do I know it'd be ruined?... Because if I get shot down, if he rejects me, it _will_ be… Look, we just had an argument last night, and I'm not in any hurry to have another one… Okay, can we just talk about this tomorrow at school so I can go on to bed?... Allison, don't tease me… Okay, thanks… Shit, he's coming in here… Okay, bye…" Just as Dawn hung up the phone, in came Xander in just his pajama pants.

"Hey, who were you talking to?"

"Oh, just Allison."

"She okay?"

"Yeah, she just got off work an hour ago."

"Going to bed?"

"Yeah, she probably is."

"I was asking if _you_ are."

"Oh, I don't know, I need to do some odds and ends…" _Come on, Dawn, tell him you love him while he's still in here. Make him sit down on the bed and listen to you tell him about what a perfect couple you think you two would make if he'd only give you a chance and get past your age._

"Well, I was just wondering who was sleeping in whose bed with who tonight, not that it matters."

"I know the perfect way to decide." Grinning, Dawn then reached over her bed and retrieved her box of cards from her bed-side table. "Over a card game." _Damn it, Dawn, you're too stubborn for your own good sometimes. Tell him what he needs to know and do it while he's in here. Tell him you really feel that you could be what each other needs. Tell him you're happiest at night when you're in his arms, and that never in your life have you ever felt this close, this attached, to a human being; not even to your own mother, father, or sister for Pete's sake._

An eyebrow raised, Xander asked, "Oh? What game?"

"Blackjack." _Allison's right, isn't she? You're chickening out again, aren't you? Pathetic. Unbelievable. If you keep chickening out like this, if you keep being shy, how do you expect to ever find love?_

"We're not betting with money I hope?"

"No," Dawn answered, laughing as she took out the cards. "You win, I sleep in your bed tonight with no complaints. I win, you sleep in mine. Again, with no complaints."

"I get the feeling that even if I lose, I still win," Xander remarked as he sat down on her bed while Dawn began shuffling the cards.

"Me too." _You're not going to tell him, are you? If you're not going to act on them, you need to just get over your feelings. He's the one person who's never abandoned you at some point in your life. Your mother's abandoned you, your father's abandoned you, and your sister's abandoned you, but Xander, he never has. You need to tell him exactly how much that means to you, and how much it means to you when Buffy, Willow, and Giles are talking down to you because you're a teenager and he, with no hesitation, comes to your defense._

"You okay, Dawn? You look out of it."

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine." Dawn began laying out the cards. "Xander?"

"Yeah? What is it?"

_You're wonderful. Amazing. What I want, what I need, what I'd give anything in this world to have. You're my key to happiness. _"I-I need to tell you something before we begin our game here…" _Yeah, I'm definitely chickening out for the millionth time. Allison will be so proud, won't she?_

"Is something wrong, Dawn?" A look of worry was quickly spreading across Xander's face, which was only making Dawn hesitate even more.

"No, I uh, I-I just want to thank you again for taking me up to drop off that job application, and for being supportive." _Nice save._

"Hey, that's what I'm here for, isn't it?"

_Ugh, forget vampires. I'm the one who sucks._


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **This story is officially back, guys. Sorry for the long wait. I realize it's been almost a year since I posted the last chapter, but I hadn't forgotten about it. As I have elected to take an entire quarter off from school, that means I shall be off a good 3 months. Maybe I'll even finish it in that time frame. I'd always intended on getting back to this story, as I don't like to leave a story unfinished. As for my uncle, I'm happy to say that he did survive his stroke. Though he still has quite a ways to go in his recovery, the recovery he's made in these 11 months has been nothing short of remarkable. Anyway, without further ado, I bring you the long-awaited chapter 6 of The Pursuit of Xander Harris. Enjoy!

**Chapter 6**

It was a Friday, and two weeks had gone by since Dawn's failed attempt at telling Xander her feelings. She hadn't tried again since, in spite of Allison pressuring her to. She and Allison were beginning to talk less and less about Xander when they were together because it would always end with Dawn getting upset and Allison having to apologize. Besides, nothing new had happened between them, and it wouldn't unless she told him her feelings. She knew this. She'd stopped giving Allison daily updates on her and Xander almost a week ago because there simply weren't any updates. Xander still knew nothing about her feelings, and therefore, they were still only friends. Friends who slept together and held hands, yes, but that's about as far as the touchy-feelyness would get as long as they were only friends.

She'd gotten hired on at McDonald's. They'd called her the very next day after she turned in the application, and today, it was the end of her second week working there, and she'd gotten her first paycheck consisting of $340 after taxes. She was working 8 hours a day, from 3 p.m. to 10 p.m., with the exception of Thursdays and Saturdays. She was glad that one of her days off, Thursday, was also a day that Xander was. She'd catch a bus to work, but at night when she got off Xander would pick her up since it was so late. Tonight, as she got into the passenger side of Xander's car in her uniform, her excitement was a little more than obvious.

"Guess what."

"You got your first paycheck?" Xander guessed, looking in the rear-view mirror on the driver's side.

"How do you know?"

"Because it's been two weeks," Xander explained, laughing as he started the car again. "At most places, they pay you every two weeks."

"Well, you're right, I got paid today. And since I'm off tomorrow, I say we celebrate. You and me."

"How much did you make?"

"$340. After taxes, that is. Is that enough to celebrate?"

"Dawn, getting your first paycheck in itself is something to celebrate," Xander answered as he slowly backed out of the parking space, adding, "It doesn't matter how much you made. I was just curious."

"Well, I've got to say, the best part about having a job now, besides getting paid, is seeing Allison more, even if it means I'm seeing you less. She's kind of who I go to with my problems. Not that _you're_ not good at helping me solve my problems."

"I know, I know, it's just that she's another teenage girl, so she can relate more to your problems. She's uh, she's more understanding of your problems. I have no idea what being a teenage girl is like. I can't even imagine."

"Right. It's about as challenging as bringing down a Hell-Goddess."

"I don't doubt that. The point is, I'm not the least bit offended if there are certain problems in your life that you feel more comfortable sharing with Allison than with me. This is what I wanted in the first place was for you to have someone to talk to your own age. This is what I hoped for the most when we first moved here."

"I know," Dawn said, looking out the window and watching cars pass. "So uh, what exactly should we do tomorrow to celebrate?"

"Well, for starters, I could take you somewhere nice to eat seeing as I myself just got paid too."

"Somewhere nice, huh? How 'bout Olive Garden?"

"If that's what you want, sure."

"It is."

"Then that's where we'll go."

"Can't wait," Dawn said, watching the red light in front of them turn green. "You know my love for Italian."

***At the house***

"Xander and I are going out tomorrow to celebrate," Dawn explained later that night to Allison on the phone.

"Celebrate what?" Allison asked, laughing.

"Getting my first paycheck, silly."

"Oh, right. It's nice, isn't it? Having money – money that you earned fair and square."

"It is."

"Wouldn't that be the perfect time to tell him?"

"Tell him what?"

"Don't play coy with me, Summers. Your feelings. You can't keep holding back like this."

"Sure I can. Of course I can."

"Okay, yeah, obviously you can because you have been for the past two weeks. You know what I meant, and if you don't, well, then maybe Xander needs someone of a little more intelligence."

"Hey, I'm passing all my classes."

"That doesn't make you intelligent, Summers. At least not when it comes to love."

"What the hell, Allison? Now you're insulting me?"

"Criticizing," Allison corrected her, sighing before adding, "It's constructive criticism."

"I'll tell him when I'm good and ready to. I'll tell him when I want to. God, I thought you were finally beginning to lay off it and think about something else, but no, you still have a one-track mind, and honestly, I don't know why you care so damn much whether I tell him my feelings."

"Uh, because I care about you maybe? Look, I'm sorry, I'm trying to help you out here, not be a nuisance."

"Well, you're doing a better job at being a nuisance."

"Okay, you know what? Call me back in the morning or something. I'm getting off here." With that, Allison hung up, and, dropping her phone on the bed, tears began to form in Dawn's eyes.

***The next day***

"Almost ready, Dawn?" Xander yelled, picking his keys up from the living room coffee table. "I'd like us to beat the dinner rush if possible."

"Yeah, I'm coming," Dawn yelled back as she came running down the stairs. "And hungry enough that I'll have to try very hard to refrain from getting full off their breadsticks."

"Yeah, me too-" Xander stopped as he saw what she'd changed into: A skimpy, form-fitting, low-cut black dress. She had on makeup, her hair was curled, and in her ears were sterling silver hoop ear rings. On her feet were black knee-high boots. His eyes got wider and wider as he slowly made his way back up to her emphasized cleavage. Her petite frame. Her perfect, petite frame. It was more than one man could handle. Boy, was he feeling like a pervert, but he couldn't help but stare at the woman standing in front of him with desire. "Dawn, you-you dressed up for this?"

"What's wrong with that?" Dawn asked, hands on her hips and head tilted to the side. "I mean, it's Olive Garden we're going to, not McDonald's."

"N-nothing's wrong with it, I-I just didn't know you wanted to dress up for this or-or else I would have," Xander stammered, gulping. "You look nice. You-you look-well, you look 'vampy' to be completely honest here. Maybe that's not a good thing considering my dislike of vampires."

Dawn frowned as she replied, "Yes, I know of your dislike of vampires, especially of ones who go by the names Angel and Spike."

"Okay, that definitely didn't come out the way I meant it to," Xander remarked, sighing. "Look, while I don't much care for vampires, I very much care for this dress. I didn't know you even owned this kind of dress. You do look nice in it, no joke."

"Just nice? I can't believe you don't remember Buffy getting it for me for Christmas."

"Well, in my defense, this is the first time you've worn it, so don't be giving me any lip service. Fine, you look _amazing_ in this dress. There, happy now? What made you decide to finally wear it anyway?"

"It's a special occasion, Xander. I finally have a reason to." Dawn's frown then changed into a smile. "Let's go eat, shall we?"

***At the restaurant***

"What would you like to drink, miss?"

Without looking up from her opened menu, Dawn replied, "I'll take a coke."

"And what would you like to drink, sir?"

Xander looked up at the waitress with a warm smile. "I'll take a Red Zinfandel."

The waitress returned the smile and said, "Do you have ID, sir?"

"Oh yes, right here." Xander said, swiftly putting his menu down and pulling his wallet out from his back pocket. Before he could open it, Dawn spoke up.

"Wine, Xander? Really?"

"What's wrong with wine?" he asked defensively.

"Nothing, if you're of age," she murmured, finally closing her menu and tossing it to the side. She folded her arms. "Going all out, aren't we? Wish I could go all out for my own celebration."

"Oh, Dawn," he laughed as he handed his ID to the waitress. "You'll get there. Just give it a few more years."

"_Three_ more years," Dawn specified, sighing. "They couldn't go by fast enough to satisfy me."

"Yeah, every minor says that," Xander remarked, laughing again. The waitress then handed him back his ID with a nod and a, "Thank you, sir. I will be back in a few." With that, she left the table just as swiftly as she'd arrived. Despite how packed the restaurant was, he and Dawn seemed to be getting fairly fast service.

"Xander, you're being really insensitive," Dawn half-scolded, half-teased.

"Whoa…"

"What?"

"For a second, I thought maybe Anya's spirit had taken over your body."

"Oh, ha ha," Dawn murmured as she began laying out her silverware. "Though it does sound like something she would've said."

"It does," Xander reinstated. He then reached across the table and lightly patted her hand. "Sorry, Dawn. I'll work on being more sensitive. That's actually been on my to-do list for a while now."

"Being more sensitive?"

"Yep."

"Since when?"

"Since Anya _told_ me to put it on my to-do list."

Dawn burst out laughing. "And you're just now getting around to it?"

Xander grinned. "You know me."

"You procrastinator, you."

By then Dawn was feeling slightly better. She hated it whenever she'd have an episode of teenage moodiness, but when Xander had ordered himself an alcoholic drink, it was a painful reminder for her of her young age. _If there were an official list of warnings for men on how to tell if a girl is too young for them, that would probably be number one_, she thought to herself. _Too young to order an alcoholic drink? Yep, she's definitely too young for you, bro. Better stay away! _She sighed. It was at that moment that the waitress returned with their drinks.

"Have you guys decided what you want to eat?"

"Yes," Xander spoke up. "I'll have the chicken con broccoli."

"And I'll have the venetian apricot chicken," said Dawn as she brought her full glass of coke to her lips. "Except without the apricot."

"Sure thing. And would you both like a salad to go with your meal?"

"Yes," Xander answered.

"And breadsticks," Dawn added.

The waitress smiled. "Of course. I'll bring that right out. And your meals will be ready in about 15 minutes."

"Thank you," Dawn said, sitting down her glass.

As soon as she left, Xander remarked, "_Without_ the apricot?"

Now it was Dawn's turn to get defensive. "What's wrong with that?"

"That's like me ordering the chicken con broccoli without the broccoli."

"Get off my case, Xander," she ordered, sticking her tongue out at him. "You know I hate apricot."

"Then why didn't you order something else?"

"Because I like the venetian chicken. Just not the apricot."

Xander shook his head. "You women are picky eaters."

Dawn smiled, knowing he was teasing. A thought came to her mind. _I bet Allison would get a kick out of us bickering like a couple. _Her smile then faded as another thought came to mind. _I haven't heard from Allison today. I'm guessing she's still mad at me for getting mad at her. Not that I blame her. I know she means well. I just…hate being hounded. I never should've even gotten her involved in all this. I need to learn to fight my own battles._ For the millionth time that night, she sighed.

"What's with the sigh, Dawn?" Xander asked.

"Just..anxiously awaiting those breadsticks."

_I'll call her tonight._

***Back at the house ***

"I can't believe you thought to pick this up for us on the way home," Dawn exclaimed as she took a careful sip from her wine glass.

"Well, I felt bad that you couldn't have any wine at Olive Garden," Xander explained as he poured another glass for himself. He was on his third, while Dawn was still on her first. He had warned her beforehand that it takes a while to get used to the taste of wine. The bottle was slightly over half empty, or slightly under half full, depending on whether one is an optimist or pessimist. "And after all, it is _your_ celebration. Today is about you. Besides, 17 is close enough to 21, right?" He winked at her. "I'd be lying if I said that I waited till I was of legal age to start drinking. I was drinking at your age. Back in high school, Buffy, Willow, and I drank all the time at house parties. That is, when we weren't fighting demons or vampires." He laughed.

"And were these house parties ones that you all were invited to, or ones that you threw?" Dawn asked, grinning.

"Uh… Ones that we threw."

"How many people usually came?"

"Uh… Three."

"Those being you, Buffy, and Willow?" Dawn teased, sitting down her glass.

"Give me a break here, will ya?" Xander replied, clearly getting defensive. "So we weren't very popular in our high school days. We realize this. No need to rub it in. Not all of us are built to be Cordelias."

"In case you've forgotten, my dear Xander, _I'm_ not very popular," Dawn said. With that, she picked up her glass again. "I only have one close friend, and that's Allison. The rest are just…acquaintances."

"Acquaintances can be made into friends, can't they?" Xander suggested before taking a rather huge and risky gulp from his glass. He hadn't sat it down once since they'd gotten into his high school days. "You know, as much as I enjoyed hanging with Buffy and Willow, I missed having a friend of my own… well, _gender_… and having… well, you know… guy-type discussions. Sports… Video games… Dirty magazines…" Dawn's laughter disrupted his train of thought.

"I can see that," she said. And she could.

He nodded. "I did have a friend like that once… Before Buffy moved to Sunnydale. His name was Jesse."

"What happened to him? Did he move?"

"He was bitten by a vampire."

"Oh. Did he-"

"He was turned. I had to stake him. Put him out of his misery." With a sigh, Xander finally sat down his glass. "I believe that's where my dislike of vampires began."

"I-I'm sorry," she said. It was all she _could_ say.

He shook his head, clearly deep in thought again. "It was so long ago… You'd think I'd be over it by now. But I'm not. Not completely. He was my best friend."

"Before Buffy and Willow," Dawn murmured. It wasn't really a question, but a confirmation.

"Yes. I've always felt…partially responsible," he admitted. He picked up his glass again. "But I'm not going to let it kill my buzz." With that, he took another huge gulp, then sat it back down again. He got up from the couch and held out his hand to Dawn. "Care to dance, m'lady?"

"I don't see how you can drink three glasses and only have a buzz," Dawn commented before taking his hand and being pulled up.

"Easily," Xander teased, grinning. "You're just a lightweight."

"But Xander, what on earth are we going to dance to?"

"What do you mean?"

"We've got to have music!"

"You want music? Sure thing!" He let go of her hand and Dawn watched as he half-ran, half-stumbled up the stairs. He wasn't the most graceful person since he'd lost an eye, but with alcohol involved, he was even worse. Her heart pounding, Dawn sat back down, unsure of what to make of things. Having not even finished her first glass, she barely felt anything. She felt like her normal self. Internally, she criticized herself for not being able to drink more, for being a much slower drinker than Xander. She then had to remind herself that, unlike her, Xander had had _years_ to get used to the taste, and that made her feel slightly better about the circumstances.

"Here we go," Xander said as he came back down the stairs. Under his arm was a small black CD player. Dawn could only guess what CD he had in there. She watched as he plugged it into an empty socket by the TV stand and sat it down on the coffee table by their drinks. _Not a good idea_, she thought to herself. Instead of saying it out loud though, she chose to merely shake her head at his absurdness. As soon as he pressed play, he turned back around, no doubt to witness Dawn's reaction to his choice.

_The dawn is breaking_

_A light shining through_

_You're barely waking_

_And I'm tangled up in you_

Dawn nodded her head in approval. "Good choice."

"I sure thought so," he said softly, almost in a whisper. By now his smile had faded, replaced with seriousness. Approaching her, he held out his hand to her again. Dawn immediately noticed his pupil in his one eye was dilated. _Maybe you're a little further gone than you thought, Xander_, she thought to herself. _Maybe you're more than just a little buzzed._ "Now, may I have this dance?"

Dawn answered, "You may."

_I'm open, you're closed_

_Where I follow, you'll go_

_I worry I won't see your face_

_Light up again_

For all of the second verse, they said nothing to each other. They simply swayed back and forth with the music, his hands around her waist and hers draped on his shoulders. Either he was ignoring her stiffness or he was too buzzed to notice it. In an effort to loosen up, she finally said, "You know, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind."

He paused, but only for a second. "You mean you don't like slow dancing? Is your idea of dancing that grinding crap?"

She laughed. "No, it's not that, it's just… I'm nervous."

"Why be nervous, Dawn? It's just me."

_Even the best fall down sometimes_

_Even the wrong words seem to rhyme_

_Out of the doubt that fills my mind_

_I somehow find_

_You and I collide_

"You know, Xander, you really surprise me."

"How so?"

"I just never…pegged you to be the type of guy who would own this type of music."

"Ah," he said, twirling her. When she came back around, he moved his hands to her face. First he looked at her lips, lightly stroking the far right corner with his thumb. Then his eye moved up to _her _eyes. It stayed there, as if he was contemplating something and he thought her eyes would show him the outcome, or rather, the consequences. Finally, as if giving up, or maybe giving in, he spoke. "Would you be opposed to one more surprise?"

Before she could even answer, she felt their lips collide.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

For Dawn, the world had stopped. It stopped the second she felt his lips on hers. Ten minutes ago didn't matter anymore. Hell, a day ago didn't matter anymore. All that mattered to her, at that moment, was that his lips felt and tasted just as she'd always imagined they would. Though she could smell the alcohol on his breath, she wanted to believe that he was kissing her because he wanted to - because he was attracted to her - and not because he was under the influence of an intoxicating substance. Maybe she was kidding herself, but at that moment, she didn't care. All she cared about was that it was finally happening. She was kissing Xander Harris. What this meant for them, she'd worry about when the kiss was over – for at that moment, she felt a sense of life fulfillment, as if she'd fulfilled her purpose.

_I'm quiet, you know_

_You make a first impression_

_I've found I'm scared to know_

_I'm always on your mind_

Xander Harris - the only man in her life that had ever really mattered to her on such a profound level, and into their first kiss she was throwing every bit of that emotional security she had in whatever kind of relationship they were now to have. If there were a moment that she wished she could hold on to forever, this was it. Not her technical first kiss with Justin. Not becoming a full-fledged member of the Scooby Gang. Not standing up to her sister last year when she tried to force her to leave Sunnydale, rather than stay and help with The First. Not independently slaying at least three Turok-Han vampires. It was this.

_Even the best fall down sometimes_

_Even the stars refuse to shine_

_Out of the back you fall in time_

_I somehow find_

_You and I collide_

The moment his lips abruptly left hers, the moment he pulled away, she felt a sense of loss. Their arms were still around each other, and their bodies were still pressed against each other, yet somehow the intimacy had left, and in its place was a question that would need an answer. A combination of shock, confusion, and fear on his face, it was Xander who finally asked the question. "What does this mean?"

"Well, Xander, what do you want it to mean?" was Dawn's light-hearted answer. Though clearly not light-hearted enough, as the look on his face still indicated to her that he'd just made a terrible, tremendous mistake.

"I… Why did I do that?" She could hear the regret in his voice.

"Don't ask me. Ask yourself."

As if just now realizing how close they still were, he finally retracted his arms from around her and reached down and turned off the music. He slowly made his way around the coffee table back to the couch and sat dawn, burying his face in his hands. Dawn was completely frozen in place, unsure of what to do or say to get them out of this predicament. Finally, she slowly began approaching him, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Xander…"

He looked up rather fast, startling her. "Dawn, why did you let me do that? Why did you let me make such a drastic move? Shit. Buffy is going to kill me."

"Buffy doesn't have to know," she reasoned, tears forming in her eyes. "We can even forget it happened ourselves."

"Life doesn't work like that and you know it," he said rather sternly, removing her hand from his shoulder. "I know you have more sense than to think that it does. I've completely screwed up."

"You haven't screwed up," she argued. She wanted to put her hand back where it was, but she refrained. "Like I said, Buffy doesn't have to know. We can keep it between us."

"But doesn't it change things? Between us?"

"It…doesn't have to."

"But it does. I was out of line, Dawn. Completely out of line."

"I…I wouldn't say that." She was running out of arguments.

"You're Buffy's sister!" he shouted, startling Dawn once more. "Don't you know I had a crush on Buffy in high school? Don't you realize how…_awkward_ this is for me?"

She gulped. "Are you…are you saying, 5 years later, you have a similar crush on _me_?"

"I don't know what it is," he murmured. He almost sounded disgusted with himself. "All I know is, when I look at you, I don't see a 14-year-old anymore. I don't even see a 15, 16, or 17-year-old anymore. I see a grown woman. A _beautiful_ grown woman at that. And that scares me. I remember when I used to _babysit_ you, Dawn. Hell, that's kind of what I'm doing now. I'm supposed to be your _guardian_. I'm not supposed to be looking at you with any sort of…desire. I feel like a damned pedophile."

"You're not a pedophile, Xander," Dawn asserted, sighing. "And you know I've never looked at you as my _babysitter_. I've always looked at you as a friend. You were a good friend of Buffy's, and then over time, as I got older, you became a good friend of mine. I felt like I could count on you more than I even could my own sister. Buffy wasn't always there when I needed someone to talk to, but you were. I'll admit I have major abandonment issues, but you know what? You're the one person, the _only_ person in my life, who has yet to abandon me."

"And that makes me all the more sorry," he murmured, standing up. With his head, he pointed over to what was still left of the wine on the coffee table. "Put the rest of that in the fridge, will ya? Don't want it to go to waste." With that, he went over to the coat hanger by the door, removed his coat, and hurriedly began putting it on.

"Xander, what are you doing?"

"I need to think."

"And you have to leave to do that? Where are you going?"

"O'Daniel's. The bar up the street. You know, the one I usually go to."

"Xander, you've had enough drinks for one night!"

"What time is it?"

Dawn found herself a little taken aback by this question. She pulled out her phone from her pocket, wondering to herself what difference it made what time it was when he'd already had _three_ drinks. Looking back up at Xander, she said, "It's almost 11:30."

"Well, then the night's still young," he remarked, retrieving his keys from the mantle. "You may be asleep by the time I get home. If you are, have a good day at work tomorrow."

"Xander…"

Opening the door, he added, "And I'm sorry again for screwing up."

"You haven't screwed up _anything_! That's what I'm trying to tell you if you would just listen to me!" she shouted, panic building up inside. "Xander, please…"

He shook his head. "You may not realize it yet, but I have."

"But.."

"Bye, Dawn." With that, he shut the door behind him on his way out.

***At the bar***

Turning off the ignition in O'Daniel's parking lot, Xander elected not to get out right away. Instead, he stayed seated in the pitch blackness of the car, his head flooded with thoughts. Adjusting the mirror and looking at himself in it, he sighed. "Xander, you never were one who knew how to stay out of trouble," he remarked out loud to himself. "Or how to leave well enough alone. I can't believe I did that. I've made a complete mess of things between Dawn and me. Maybe I ought to send her back to Cleveland to live with Buffy and the others. At least then she wouldn't have to worry about some 23-year-old pervert coming on to her again. I'm obviously inept at playing the guardian role for a teenager." He paused, looking out the side window. Then, as if he'd thought about it some more, he added, "Though she wouldn't exactly be safe there. It's another Hellmouth, so she would have to deal with demons and vampires all over again. She'd be about as safe there as she was in Sunnydale." With that, he let out another sigh, then finally unlocked the door with the intention of getting out. He'd had enough of arguing with himself.

As he walked in, he didn't bother looking around to see if he recognized anyone there. Familiars or strangers, right now he didn't care. He looked straight ahead as he quickly made his way over to the bar and sat down at his usual spot. The bartender, an older man, quickly made his way over to him, having seen him walk in. There was a smile on his face, one that Xander would have returned if not for the circumstances.

"Well, hello there," he said cheerfully. "Been a while. How've you been, Xander?"

"Good up till tonight," he murmured. "I'll have my usual."

"A Jack?"

"Yes."

When he came back with his drink, he waited not a moment more to ask. "You look troubled, son. May I ask what happened?"

"A girl happened, I guess you could say."

"Ah," the bartender said, nodding his head as if he understood. "Well, Xander, in these situations it's best to always keep in mind that there are plenty more fish in the sea. I know that may not be what you want to hear right now, but it's true."

"I kissed her," he elaborated, not bothering to look up.

Confused, the bartender asked, "And…you didn't like it? Or she didn't like it?"

"I did it because I was buzzed… And curious. And because she looked beautiful in that dress. Then again, she looks beautiful in anything she wears. But yes, I liked it. As for her, I'm not sure. She didn't say one way or the other," Xander explained, pausing to pick up the Jack in front of him. After taking a sip of it, he added, "I mean, she didn't pull away. She returned the kiss. But Jeff, she's… She's a bit younger than me. I feel like I took advantage."

"How old is she?"

"She's 17. Almost 18." If Jeff was taken aback by this, he didn't show it. His calm expression did not change.

"I see," Jeff said. "Did you ask her whether she felt she was being taken advantage of?"

"No," Xander answered. "I guess I should have."

Jeff nodded in agreement. "You know, you really should be with her talking about all this, instead of being here talking about it with me."

"I guess you're right about that as well," Xander murmured, taking another sip. "I'll only stay a few minutes. I've got to clear my head."

Jeff nodded again. "Best of luck to you, Xander. You're a good guy. I have other customers to tend to, but it was good seeing you again. Let me know if you need anything else."

"I will, thanks." With that, Jeff was gone.

Xander quickly found himself spacing out, with no one or nothing else to give his attention to except for the alcoholic beverage in front of him, although he wasn't giving much attention to the fact that he was taking a sip of it just about every half a minute. Even how long he'd been sitting there was unknown to him. Could've been 5 minutes, could've been half an hour. Trapped in his thoughts about Dawn and what had happened between them, his cup was almost empty and his buzz had almost returned when he suddenly felt a tap on his shoulder. When he turned around, he couldn't have been more unprepared for who was there.

"Hello, Xander," she mused, smiling.

"Serena?" His initial reaction was to want to get up and run right out of the bar, away from the nonsensical woman. However, knowing that would be rather immature of him, he decided to, instead, stand his ground. "When did you get here?"

"Oh, I've been here a while," she said, laughing. "I was here even before you were. I saw you walk in. I didn't approach you right away though because… well, quite frankly, I wasn't sure how. I had to build up the courage. You know, after the way our date went. Which, by the way, I'm _very_ sorry about. You're a good looking guy, Xander. I feel terrible that I blew my chance."

"Yes, well," Xander began, pausing to finish the last bit in his cup. "It's all past now, isn't it? I'm not all that upset by it anymore."

"That's good," she said calmly, taking the seat next to him. "Still, I'm sorry nonetheless."

"Thanks," he murmured. His cup now empty, he debated on whether to flag Jeff down to order another one or call it quits. _How long have I been here anyway?_ he wondered. _Before this conversation with Serena progresses any further, I need to get home to Dawn. She's probably worried about me._

"So, what brings you here?" Serena asked, breaking his concentration.

"Me? Oh. I just-" He paused, sighing. _No harm in telling her the truth I suppose._ "I got in a fight with a friend. Well, my roommate."

"Oh. I see."

"Not getting jealous, are ya?" he teased. When she didn't answer, just looked at him, he wanted to kick himself in the ass right then and there. He cleared his throat. "There's no reason to get jealous though, if you are. She's still in high school. I'm uh, I'm friends with her sister as well, and since her sister is always so busy, I basically offered to take her in and care for her for the remainder of her high school years. Make sure she keeps her grades up and, well, graduates."

"That was very sweet of you, Xander," she answered, slowly putting her hand on top of his. He retracted a bit, and as if sensing his hesitation, she added, "There's no reason to be uncomfortable. My problem is that I can get..over-emotional at times. But I can assure you I'm working on that. In the weeks since our date, I've reevaluated my life, and I've realized that I need to have better control over my emotions. That's why I'd love it if you gave me another chance."

"I don't know, Serena…"

"Am I too late? Have you met someone else?"

"No, it's not that. It's just… My roommate."

"What about her?"

"Well, like I said, she and I got in a fight tonight."

"Did she refuse to do her homework or something?" she teased, her hand still on top of his.

"I'm afraid it's a little more serious than that," he murmured. "And I'd rather you not make jokes at her expense. She's mature for her age."

"Okay, sorry," she said, laughing. "She sure gave me no indication that she was on the phone. Oh, wait, you probably don't know about that."

"She is," Xander asserted, finally removing his hand from under hers. "And yes, as a matter of fact, I do. I happened to walk in toward the end of the conversation. Just as she was telling you goodbye."

"Well," she began. "I suppose I'll excuse the way she talked to me now that I know her age."

"I wouldn't give her any trouble," Xander warned. "She was just trying to protect me. I'm protective of her as well, and honestly, if I'd been in her shoes and her in mine, I probably would've done the same. She thought hearing from you would upset me."

"You must really care about her," Serena mused. "She's lucky to have you for a friend and roommate. If I may ask though, where are her parents?"

"Her and her sister's father chooses not to involve himself with the family," Xander muttered bitterly. "And as for their mother, she died a few years ago from a brain aneurysm. So, it should go without saying that all they have for a family is each other. Which is why it's such a shame they don't get to spend more time with each other. Her sister, she has one of those 24/7 jobs. She doesn't really get a day off."

"Why doesn't she quit?"

"That…really isn't an option."

"Honestly though, isn't she _her_ responsibility?"

"She's _my_ responsibility too!" Xander shouted, clearly getting upset. He slammed his fist on the table, startling Serena. "As long as she's my friend, she's my responsibility! She wasn't _forced_ upon me, Serena. I willingly took her in. That's what you're not understanding."

"Okay, I'm sorry," Serena surrendered. "Look, don't get upset. Wasn't my intention. I meant it when I said I want another chance. What would you say to coming with me back to my place? You don't have to stay the night or anything like that. Just stay for a few hours."

"What's in it for me?" Xander asked rather bluntly.

"Well," Serena began. She took his hand in hers. "I have a couch, and an assortment of movies." She smiled. "Or if you'd rather talk about what happened between you and your roommate, we can do that. I'm a good listener. Maybe I'll even have some advice."

"I fail to see how it's any of your business," Xander murmured, pulling his hand away. Serena's smile faded. "I've told you too much about it already. Besides, it's getting late."

"So is that a no?" Serena asked, feeling defeated.

"It's definitely a no. I've got to get home."

"That's too bad… Maybe another time."

"I blocked your number, you know."

"Then unblock it," Serena half-ordered, half-pleaded. "Let me make up for what I've done. Give me the benefit of the doubt and another chance. Honestly, I mean no harm to anyone."

"Look, I'll think about it," Xander answered, standing up. "But right now, I've got more important things to think about. Dawn's probably still awake, waiting on me to get home. I've got to fix things with her. The longer I stay here, the more I'm letting her down. Goodbye."

"Xander, I just have one more question," she said, her smile now completely gone.

"What is it?"

"Do you have…_feelings_ for Dawn?"

"Feelings? That's a rather broad word to use. She's my friend, of course I have feelings."

"Let me rephrase the question then," Serena requested. "Are your feelings for her…strictly platonic?"

"I… I don't know," Xander admitted, frozen in place.

"Because if they aren't, I feel the need to remind you of the law," Serena warned. "While the age of consent here in Ohio is 16, she can only consent to sex with another minor. Not with an adult like yourself. The charge for that can be as low as a misdemeanor, or as severe as statutory rape. So, if she is not yet 18, I highly suggest things remain between you as they are."

"You're jumping the gun here, Serena," Xander murmured.

"Am I?" she asked slyly. Her smile had returned.

"You stay away from me and Dawn," he ordered sternly. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're trying to manipulate me."

"I'm doing no such thing!" she shouted, standing up.

"Not even into giving you another chance?" he accused. "Look, Serena, I'm not stupid. I know the law. That's part of the reason I'm so hesitant. But believe me when I say that I would take things at a turtle's pace with Dawn. I wouldn't rush her into anything she wasn't ready for. I have the utmost respect for Dawn. I've gone without sex for over a year, Serena. I think I can manage to go another 4 months. But if by the time she turned 18 she still wasn't ready, then we'd wait even longer. It's not a big deal to me. Now, assuming you're through with your warnings, I have one for you – Stay out of my business." Before she could saying anything more, he'd turned and quickly made his way up the aisle to the door. She watched as the door shut behind him, frozen in place.

She waited a few minutes, giving him time to get in his car, start it up, and pull out from the parking spot. When she thought she'd waited long enough, she then made her way up the aisle to the door and stepped outside. Her timing was perfect. She immediately recognized his car as it sped past the bar's entrance. Walking up behind it, she took a mental note of the license plate.

"OFP-857." She repeated it to herself a few times.

***Back at the house***

"I just don't know what to do anymore… I feel like it's hopeless. It's 1:30 in the morning and he's still not home… I can't go to bed until he does," Dawn said to Allison on the phone, wiping the tears from her face. It was at that moment that she heard keys turning in the door. She almost jumped out of her skin. "Oh, I hear him now. I've got to go. Thanks, Allison. I know, I'm sorry too. I'm glad we've made up. Okay, I'll see you at work tomorrow. Bye." Just as the door opened, she put down her phone.

In stepped Xander. He looked over at her on the couch and sighed, as if relieved that she was still awake. Still, he waited until he'd shut the door and placed his keys back on the mantle. It was then that he flatly stated, "Dawn, we need to talk."

She nodded her head. "I agree."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"Dawn, I have an important question," Xander began. He and Dawn were sitting on the couch on opposite sides.

"What is it?" Dawn could feel the nervousness returning. Or was it panic? Fear? She wasn't sure. Maybe all of the above.

"It's about what happened," Xander elaborated.

"Go on," Dawn urged.

"Did you… Or do you… Feel like you were being taken advantage of?"

"No," Dawn answered without hesitation. "I wasn't the least bit uncomfortable with…what was happening. In fact, I was perfectly…" She paused, sighing. _May as well come all out with it. No more secrets._ "Perfectly happy with it. It didn't feel the least bit unnatural to me. It felt-"

"Long overdue," Xander cut in.

Looking away, she nodded. "Yes. Long overdue."

"Dawn, look at me," he ordered. Though, as soft as he'd said it, it sounded more like a plea to Dawn than an order. How could she refuse? As she turned to look at him, he scooted closer to her and took a piece of her hair and put it back behind her ear, like he'd done many times before. Looking at her, he immediately noticed her eyes and face were red from all the crying she'd done. Yet she still looked as beautiful as ever. Pushing the thought away, he said, "That's my dilemma as well. I enjoyed the kiss."

"You did?" she asked flatly, trying not to sound hopeful or excited.

"Yes," he answered, lightly stroking her face. "But Dawn, you're a minor… And there are laws…"

"They don't say that we can't be a couple," Dawn asserted. "They say that we can't have sex. I'm not sure I'm ready for that anyway, so if that's your only worry, then stop worrying. Besides, I'm only a minor for 4 more months."

"Yes, I know," Xander said, sighing.

"Could you be in a sexless relationship?" Dawn asked. She instantly regretted asking so bluntly, as she could tell from his facial expression that she'd taken him by surprise.

"I've been in one before," he finally answered, removing his hand from her face.

"Not with Anya," she joked, trying to lighten the mood.

He did manage to smile. "No, not with Anya. With Cordelia."

"That popular girl you supposedly dated in high school?"

"Yes. She and I never had sex. She wasn't my first. Faith was."

"Faith?" A look of disgust unwillingly appeared on Dawn's face. "When were you two a couple?"

"We never were," Xander muttered. "She kind of…seduced me. She kicked me out of her motel room right afterwards. Didn't even give me time to get dressed."

"Now that I can believe," Dawn remarked, shaking her head. "I'm glad she finally got herself together."

"All of humanity is," Xander said, laughing. "But let's not get sidetracked here. Yes, I can be in a sexless relationship. But that's not my only worry, no."

Dawn thought for a moment, then said, "Buffy."

Xander nodded. "If I lost her trust, and she took you back to Cleveland with her, I could never forgive myself."

"You want me to stay? Even after what's happened?"

"Yes, Dawn," he answered sincerely, taking her hand in his. "I want you to stay."

She smiled. The smile, however, faded as another question came to mind. "As just your friend or as…more?"

"I don't know yet," Xander said, sighing.

"Well, when did 'more' become even an option?"

"I never told you this, but you're one of the things that kept Anya and I from getting back together," Xander admitted. The confused look on her face told him he would need to elaborate. "Over the course of a year after I left her at the altar, an opportunity for us to get back together came up several times. I always turned it down. Always had an excuse on hand for why we shouldn't. Eventually, she stopped believing my excuses." He squeezed Dawn's hand. "I could see it in her eyes. Yet she never asked for the truth, or bothered to pull it out of me. She'd seen that you and I had gotten closer. Maybe she suspected it. But she never sought confirmation."

"Confirmation of what?" Dawn asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of my newly developed interest," Xander answered.

"In me," Dawn finished.

"Yes. I'd begun to see you as you are."

"As I am?"

"Incredible," he stated, looking down at her hand in his. "I don't see you as Buffy's little sister anymore. I haven't for quite a while. But while I see you as beautiful, smart, and sweet, I also see you as forbidden, unattainable, and off-limits. At first, I wasn't sure if it was sincere interest, or if it was just some sick fantasy I was having out of loneliness. But fantasies don't usually last this long, so I guess it must be sincere." Looking back up at Dawn, he added, "Now, it's my turn to ask the question you asked me. When did 'more' become an option for you? I know back when you were 14 and first moved to Sunnydale you had a harmless little crush on me. When did those feelings return with a vengeance?"

"Who said they ever left?" was Dawn's witty response. "They didn't. Instead they grew. I just got better at hiding them. Not like I had any other choice."

"I'm sorry, Dawn."

"Don't worry about it. That was then, this is now."

He nodded as if he understood. "Up till tonight, I was too afraid to explore my own feelings. Too afraid of the feelings themselves. I thought they'd go away if I just ignored them. But they always managed to creep back up on me at the most unexpected times."

"Like tonight," Dawn said.

"Like tonight," he confirmed, sighing.

"So how do you explain the touchy-feelyness we've been doing lately? And the sleeping together. How did that start exactly? And why?"

"That was me toying with the idea of us being more than friends," Xander admitted, laughing. "Well, maybe 'toying' isn't the right word. _Experimenting_ with the idea. Same with the kiss. I wanted an idea of what it would be like. What it would _feel_ like."

"And what _did_ it feel like?"

"Well, it certainly didn't feel _wrong_," Xander remarked, finally letting her hand go. "Still, my head tells me it should. It should feel very wrong. But the fact of the matter is, I haven't felt this much happiness in a long, long time. Not since Anya died. I know it'd be odd to regret happiness. Especially when it's not at anyone else's expense."

"Indeed it would be," Dawn agreed. "So don't. Don't regret it. We can take it slow. Take each day as it comes. We don't have to rush into anything. I want you to be able to be with me without worrying about what Buffy will think, or worrying about breaking some law that only applies to us for another 4 months. You've said so yourself that you don't see me as a child anymore. You see me as a grown woman."

"I just need time to think," Xander said. "Time to evaluate my feelings. What they are. The extent of them. How strong they are."

Dawn nodded. "I understand. And the morality of them."

"Of course," Xander said.

"Maybe, while you're doing that, it would be best if we stopped sleeping together," Dawn suggested. "Maybe we ought to start sleeping in our own bed again. Alone." She patted Xander's hand. "I know it makes us both happy, sleeping in each other's arms. But sometimes, in order to take a giant leap forward, one has to take a few steps backward to build the right momentum. I don't want you to be anymore uncomfortable than you already are."

"When you're right, you're right," Xander remarked, grinning. "My bed is probably missing 'alone time' with me anyway!"

"Mine too!" Dawn exclaimed, finally relaxed enough to lean back in the couch. She curled her legs up under her. Just then, Xander's expression turned serious again.

"Don't get me wrong," he began. "I loved Anya. I still do. Maybe I always will. She was my first love. But maybe, just maybe, I can learn to love another. Maybe I can find it in me."

"Xander, I'm honestly not looking to replace her," Dawn assured. "I know I couldn't. I'm not even going to try." She laughed. "But as difficult as she was known to be, I know she'd want you to move on. I know your feelings for me probably didn't matter as much right after she died, and probably took the back seat for a while because you were busy mourning her loss. But Xander, I guarantee you you deserve happiness. You're too wonderful a guy to spend the rest of your life alone. You deserve to find someone else to love."

"It amazes me how easygoing you're being about all this," Xander remarked. "But I'm glad for it at the same time."

"It's an act, really," Dawn admitted. "Inside I'm just as jumbled up as you are."

"Oh, Dawn, you don't have to put on an act for me," Xander said, pulling her into his arms. "Things will work themselves out, one way or another."

"I know they will," Dawn said, feeling him place his hand on the back of her head. "And as for Buffy, I know you're worried about losing her trust, but honestly, I think she'd forgive you if she saw how happy we were. Sure, it may be weird for her at first, but sooner or later she'd have to admit that if she could choose who to 'ship' me with, it would be you because she's known you long enough that she knows you'd do nothing to hurt me. I think, when it was all said and done, she'd rather me be with you than one of those hormone-driven guys at my school, or in Justin's case, someone not even human. She knows you're a good guy with good intentions. If she didn't, she wouldn't have left me here."

"Well, let's hope you're right," Xander murmured, smoothing down her hair. He stopped and placed a quick peck on her forehead. The spontaneous gesture took Dawn by surprise. However, she chose not to show said surprise.

"I've been right so far in this conversation, haven't I?" she teased. Xander pulled her up from him a bit so he could see her face. The smile she had unwillingly pulled on his heart strings.

"We'll be okay," he assured. He moved his hands up to her shoulders. "I just need time to figure out what my feelings are. Like you said, we'll take each day as it comes. And as for Buffy, we'll cross that bridge when we get there. Let's not get ahead of ourselves." Noticing the piece of hair he'd put back behind her ear had come out, he put it back behind her ear. Looking directly into her eyes, he added, "I'm sorry for walking out on you earlier. It was stupid and childish of me. I promise it won't happen again. I was just afraid. I needed to sort out my thoughts. I was thinking so many thoughts at once… It was overwhelming for me. But I should have stayed and faced the music."

"All is forgiven, Xander," Dawn assured. "I probably would've done the same." With that, she unwillingly let out a yawn, reminding Xander of how late it was.

"We'd better get to bed," he said. "After all, we both have to work tomorrow."

"Guess that yawn gave it away, huh?" Dawn remarked. "Yeah, as much as I hate to admit it, this night has worn me out. Well, this whole day, really. But thanks for dinner, Xander. And the wine. And the music. And the dancing. And the-"

"And the kiss," Xander cut in, grinning. "You're welcome."

***Meanwhile…***

"What do you mean that's private information?" Serena shouted over the phone to her brother in front of O'Daniel's.

She heard him sigh. Then, calmly, he explained, "Only someone who is in law enforcement can access the address of a license plate. If you want this man's address that bad, you'll have to consult a lawyer. Your lawyer will then have to get a judge to approve."

"But you're a police offer!" Serena argued. "Isn't that law enforcement?"

"Yes, but if I were to get this man's address for you, I guarantee I wouldn't be one much longer," he remarked. "You've got to have a good reason for wanting private information. It's not worth losing my job over. I don't know what's going on between you two since you refuse to tell me, but I'm going to assume that if this man hasn't already willingly given you his address, there's probably a good reason for it. Now, if that's the only reason you called me, I think this conversation is about over."

"Steve, wait!" He didn't answer, yet she wasn't hearing the dial tone. "Hello?"

"I'm still here. What is it?" She could hear the frustration in his voice.

"Is there another way I can get it?" She was getting desperate. "There's got to be a way around the system. There almost always is. Steve, please help me."

"Not unless you tell me why you want this man's address," he asserted.

"You don't have to worry," Serena assured. "No one's safety is in jeopardy here. Neither mine, nor his. Please, just tell me another way to get his address."

"Look, I don't mean to pry, but I'm going to assume that you have an interest in this man, and I know in the past you've gotten a bit…obsessive. If that's what's going on here, I highly suggest you stop this nonsense. You're going to get us both in trouble."

"I'm not going to get us in trouble," Serena said, laughing. "And I'm not obsessive. I just think he and I could have a good thing, and… Well, there's something standing in the way. Someone. It seems I might have some…competition. I want to make it clearer to him who he should choose. I have a bit of…convincing to do, and that's why I need his address."

"You know if this turned ugly I could never forgive myself," Steve warned. But she could tell in his voice that he was soon to budge. After a slight pause, he sighed. "Alright, have it your way. You always do."

"You mean you'll tell me?" Her excitement was a little more than obvious.

"Yes," he murmured. "There is something else you could try. Go to Google and type in something like 'obtaining address from license plate' and check out the three ads that come up. I don't know how reliable those are, but they're worth a shot if you're that determined to get his address. Also, for a full report, it might ask you to pay a 20 to 30-dollar fee."

"Thanks, Steve," she said. "I owe you one."

"Yes, you do. I'd better get back to work now. Break's almost over."

"Alright, take care."

"You too," Steve murmured. "Seriously." With that, he hung up.

Closing her phone, Serena murmured to herself, "Guess if you want something done, you've got to do it yourself."

***Back at Xander's house***

Standing in front of her bedroom mirror in her pajamas, Dawn reflected on the night's events. She knew in her heart that giving him his space was the right thing to do, but already the loneliness was settling in the pit of her stomach, and no matter how hard she tried to steer her mind away to happier thoughts, the worrisome thoughts just wouldn't leave. This time the night before they were just friends. It was all they'd been for 4 years. Now what were they? Did it even have a name? Only one thing was for certain to her – life, at times, can take some unexpected turns.

_Crazy night_, she remarked to herself. Just then, she heard a knock on her door. Turning away from her reflection in the mirror, she said, "Come in."

In stepped Xander in his pajamas. "I just want to say goodnight."

She managed to muster up half a smile. "We said goodnight to each other before we parted ways."

"Well, maybe I want to say it again," Xander said defensively, gently pulling her into his arms. Dawn welcomed the physical contact. A repeat of just a few hours ago. He wanted to say more, she could tell in his eye. But something was distracting him. Little did she know that he was marveling in how easily – how perfectly - her petite frame fit in his arms.

Unable to make a witty comeback, Dawn finally said, "Whatever you think is best. Goodnight."

Instead of removing his arms though, he kept them around her. Instead of turning and walking out of her room, he stayed right in front of her. Silence fell between them. Dawn couldn't tell whether he was trying to think of more to say, or if there was more he wanted _her_ to say, but either way, she was enjoying the extended time in his arms.

Finally, he spoke. "Well, maybe there _is_ something else I came in here for."

"And what might that be?" Dawn asked.

"This," he answered, planting a quick peck on her lips.

She was a bit disappointed. Not with the kiss, but how short it was. She would have loved to have indulged in the man in front of her for longer than a mere 3 seconds. Still, a kiss is a kiss. The loneliness she'd felt before he'd come in was gone. To her, a kiss from Xander Harris, whether short or long, was exactly what the doctor ordered.

Smiling, she asked, "What was that for?"

Smiling back, he answered, "I just wanted to see what it would feel like sober. I wanted to see if it would feel the same as last time, and it does."

"But how did it feel last time?" She was almost afraid of his answer.

His smile grew bigger. However, instead of answering, he simply planted another on her forehead, then turned and walked out of her room.


End file.
